Dear Diary (Daryl Dixon x Reader)

There Is Still Hope

When you went home, Aiden crossed the street. Needless to your attempts to avoid him, he stood in front of you and laid a hand on your arm. “Y/N.”

“What’s going on, Aiden?”, you asked reluctantly to stop you.

“Why do you always avoid me?” His question urged you. You shrugged, undecided what to answer. Suddenly he stopped touching you. “I’m not a good person to keep you company.”, you replied, minimizing your voice. You were a nobody… Aiden stopped to look at you, then he lowered his eyes for a second and started talking again. “Deanna wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.”, he said sheepishly. Alexandria’s leader had tried to bring you back to her house for a while, and you always refused the offer. You found it embarrassing to sit at a table full of smiling people, even though you now realized that you could no longer keep yourself away. Four months have passed since you arrived in the community and you couldn’t use more excuses. You swallowed and had to accept his invitation. “Good.” Yoy did not really want to do that. You promised not to make any more friendships because you were left alone, and you do not want to break your oath. “Perfect!”, he said and smiled. “See you tomorrow.” The man smiled at you again and, after saying goodbye, went to his house. You knocked on the floor with your bare foot, looking into the mirror with your arms crossed, undecided what to wear. For the most upscale family in Alexandria it needed something ‘special’, so the choice fell on jeans and tank tops. Or rather, a very dark pants, which were characterized by your legs and a white undershirt, which fell gently over your hips. The evening was unusually hot, so you didn’t need a jacket to go to the Monroe’s. In a few minutes you found yourself in front of their house, when Aiden, very elegant but shy, received you with a beaming smile.

“You’re beautiful!”, he said after opening the door. You did not answer, annoyed by his comment. You entered the house and immediately went into the living room, followed by your host. The soft lights in the apartment and the music in the background made you feel uncomfortable. You turned to look for the rest of the family, but you saw no one except the young man who had come to open the door for you. You looked questioningly at him as he hurried to justify himself: “My brother and my parents have dinner with the neighbors, you would never have accepted if I told you that I wanted to be alone with you.” The anger over this kind of lie rose in you and made you return to the door to escape.

“No wait!” The man came up to you and grabbed your wrist to stop you. At that point, you could not resist, and in response you slapped him on the cheek, which was so strong that it threw his head sideways. “How dare you bitch!”, he hissed. He let go, touched his flushed face and gave you a mixed look of fear and forgiveness. “Shit… I’m sorry…”, he whispered. You leaned over to him. “Do you know what happened to me before I arrived here, and what I did? What I have done to myself?”

He shook his head, startled by your angry look. He takes a step back, still with his hand on his cheek.

“I killed people, a lot…”

Aiden stared at you without speaking. His eyes were puzzled and begging for mercy for the mistake he had just made. You sighed and shook your head. You hate that moment: You would like to escape, to be alone, but what kind of person would you be if you left him here without even giving him the chance to apologize? Did he really deserve it? You looked at him indecisively, less and less ready to go. The people here must be treated with a minimum of respect… “Did you cook everything by yourself?”, you asked resignedly. He nodded with a faint smile and added nothing else. Then you became impatient. “Do you want to stand like that all evening or at least offer me a glass of wine?”, you asked arrogantly. He awoke from his numbness and almost ran into the kitchen to fulfill your request and laughed at all the excuses that came to his mind. All in all, the evening passed quickly. You talked about this and that, talking about your lives before the epidemic unfolded and your plans for the future to and from Alexandria, carefully avoiding the words 'walker’, 'apocalypse’, 'dead’, 'killed’. As if all this never happened. However, it was inevitable, at least for you to think about it. You were sure that for Aiden on the other hand, it wasn’t so much of an effort because he lived in the middle of the world, protected by a tin fence.