There's No Mathematics To Love And Loss

Capter 9

With news of the pregnancy also came the knowledge that Mike wouldn't be at Pearson Specter much longer but after resolving things with Harvey, then the events of the Christmas party, their resulting fuck and ruining their relationship all over again... it was all too much for Mike to deal with any longer. He knew if he went to Harvey the older man would want to hear his reasons for leaving, would discard them and tell Mike he was being an idiot, and that they'd fight and everything would turn to shit even worse than it already had. As a result, Mike found himself in the office of Jessica Pearson, letter of resignation in hand, boxes packed on his desk, ready to walk out immediately.
He hadn't counted on Jessica asking about his reasons for leaving.
"I thought you'd be happy I'm out of your hair."
"Why are you handing this to me instead of Harvey? Does he even know about this?" Jessica hardly even gave Mike's letter of resignation a glance before her eyes were boring into his.
"No, he doesn't... And I doubt he'd care even if he did."
"Mike." It only took one word, sharp and quick, biting in its delivery, for Mike to know that he wasn't going to escape this without telling Jessica all of the details.
"He can't know." Mike pleaded with his eyes, desperate and fierce, making sure Jessica knew this was non-negotiable; this is the one condition he wouldn't turn away from.
"Fine."
"I mean it, Jessica. I only owe you an explanation because I want this done immediately. If you can't keep this to yourself I'll wait out my two weeks."
"I won't tell him. You're going, Mike. As well as you've done for this firm, we both know I've wanted you gone from day one. You're smart but you're a liability."
She hadn't even quite finished getting the words out before Mike spoke, "I'm pregnant."
Jessica simply stared at him like he'd grown a second head.
"It's Harvey's, I'm keeping it, he doesn't need to know. He doesn't want this as his life so I'm leaving. He doesn't need to deal with this."
Jessica was quiet for a long while, eyes sharp as she studied Mike, her gaze flickering between his stomach and his eyes, silently judging, calculating. When she finally spoke her voice was calm but strong, her firm's best interests clearly at the forefront of her mind, "No, he doesn't."
"Once I get settled I'll email you my forwarding details, but for now, I think I'm done here."
Jessica stood from behind her desk, elegance and power almost overwhelming and suddenly Mike couldn't wait to be out of this place and somewhere he could start building a life for his child, "I wish you all the best, Mr Ross."

"Mike?"
"He knows." Mike pants into the phone, almost breathless as panic floods through him.
"He... What? What happened?"
"Jessica happened."
"Oh that-"
"Stop. That doesn't help. I just... I need you to come get Matty. He can't be here when Harvey shows up."
"You really think he will?"
"I have no doubt."
"Okay, yeah of course. I'll be there as soon as I can." With that Louis hangs up the phone, his kind efficiency helping Mike breathe a little easier.
The waiting only serves to make Mike feel sicker and sicker by the minute. He can't settle, pacing around the house, hands running through his hair and rubbing over his face in frustrated confusion more times than he cares to admit. He throws up again, the nerves too overwhelming for his body to handle, before he manages to wrangle back enough control of himself to calm down, to remember to breathe and that it's only Harvey.
Harvey. The thought almost makes him feel sick all over again.
Instead Mike sits with his head in his hands, focusing on controlling his breathing long enough that it actually starts to work. His heart rate settles a little, he no longer feels as if he's going to shake out of his own skin, and his stomach stops revolting at the mere thought of Harvey and what might occur over the next few hours. Eventually he retreats into Matthew's room, the light from the hall flooding the bedroom just enough for Mike to watch the quiet rise and fall of his son's chest before he moves to curl up on the bed beside him, holding him close and breathing in his scent. His thoughts turn to Louis and how bizarre his life has become, how he never would have imagined that Louis Litt of all people is the one person he can count on now to help him in a crisis.