After All

Chapter Five

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Ryan drop the pencil he had been holding

"Don't worry," I reassured him. "I eventually wised up and broke up with him. Unfortunately it wasn't until after I caught him in bed with another girl. I walked in on them when I surprised him at school one weekend.

"He cheated on you?" I could hear the venom spitting from his mouth, which surprised me that he would have such a strong reaction to the story.

"Yeah." I looked down at my notebook. It never got easier to admit that out loud to people. It had been one of the lowest points in my life. I shook my head, trying to clear the image of that night out of my head. "I really shouldn't have been surprised, all the signs were there. I was in denial about it for a long time."

"None of that was your fault," Ryan reached over the table and carefully placed his hands over mine.

"I know, I know. I'm finally starting to believe that. But the real problem was that I had gotten so caught up in our relationship, I let my school work, and especially my art, take a backseat. I didn't ignore it all completely, but enough that I wasn't totally surprised when I got the rejection letter from SVA."

"I'm really sorry you had to go through that," Ryan said, his thumbs tracing circles over the knuckles on the top of my hand. I appreciated his concern and felt it was sincere. I didn't feel any pity in his answers. Which was important because once everyone in my high school found out, they either saw me as the poor, pathetic girl, or blamed me entirely for the whole thing. That's what happened when your boyfriend was a football legend.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. But as you can see, that's why school needs to be my focus right now." I pulled my hand out from under his and placed it on my lap. "I refuse to let something like that happen again. That's the last time I lose myself for a guy."

The intense gaze Ryan gave me made my whole body heat up uncomfortably. I cleared my throat to indicate I was done rehashing the past. Throwing my pencil down in frustration, I let out a groan. "But all of that will be pointless if I don't pass this class. I just don't know why I'm not getting this."

"You have no incentive," Ryan answered matter-of-factly. I was thankful he immediately jumped to the next topic with me. "You don't like math or think you'll use most of this in the future, so you have no motivation. We need to give you a reason to want to do well."

"You'd think not failing out of college my first semester would be reason enough."

"Apparently not for you," Ryan laughed a little too loudly and garnished a few glares from the library staff.

I leaned in closer and dropped my voice. "So what do you have in mind?"

"Hmm, we need some sort of bet." Ryan rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "If you get a B or higher on this test, then I will take you out on a secret adventure to celebrate. And if you get a C or below then you have to go streaking through the cafeteria at lunchtime."

I spit out the sip of water I had just taken from my bottle. "I am not streaking anywhere!" I squeaked out, attempting to keep my voice low.

"Why not," he leaned forward and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I bet you look really good naked."

His statement shocked me. Though the way he then blatantly looked at me, as if he could see right through my clothes, wasn't completely unwelcome.

"Come on, Lil. What's better motivation than that? Though I'd like to think it's less that you're afraid of running naked in front of everyone and more excited over the prospect of spending an evening with me."