We Shouldn't

Part 2

"I miss you already." Marvin said over the phone.

Stevie paused before replying. "I miss you, too. How did your day go?"

"It was alright. I ran some errands, got back home and cooked myself dinner. Boring." Stevie could tell Marvin was upset, he always got like that when they had to separate for any period of time. "What about you? What did you do?"

"Lindsey and I recorded some harmonies. It's been a slow day, maybe because of the rain, everyone's kind of down." Stevie sighed. "I think I'm going to have an early night."

"Have a good night, baby. I love you."

"Love you too, honey." She said and they hung up.

Putting the phone down, Stevie rolled onto her back, exhaling heavily as she stared up at the ceiling. A part of her never wanted to get married. She knew that she would never be able to get over Lindsey no matter how hard she tried. She knew that even if she committed to another man, Lindsey would still come before her own lawful husband. She felt guilty about that, but she couldn't change it either. 

Stevie realized it was unhealthy, but every time Lindsey gave her hope, she believed him. She believed that things could be different and every time they failed. They never seemed to work, when no one was standing in their way. Then one of them or both of them got into a relationship with someone else and they were back madly in love with each other, they needed each other again and nothing mattered to either one of them.

The last time Stevie and Lindsey tried for real was after the Clinton inauguration. They dated for a while, before moving in together. Everything seemed to have finally go their way. Until it didn't. They fought about anything, then they didn't talk to each other, before making up and having another argument. They both understood they were unhappy, in love, but unhappy. So, again, they broke up. And Stevie gave up. She thought that she and Lindsey were done for good that time. She tried her hardest to move on from him, she lied to herself that she didn't love him anymore. And while she lived in her own created delusion, she met Marvin. He was the complete opposite of Lindsey and at the time that was exactly what she needed. She opened her heart to another man and she believed she could be happy with him. Stevie didn't think their relationship would result in marriage, she didn't even consider it, but about a year after they met, Marvin proposed and Stevie couldn't find a reason to say no. She'd be lying if she said, she didn't love him, she did, just that the feeling wasn't as strong. It could never be. 

Lindsey came back into her life once again. Even though Stevie was a married woman at the time, she knew she had been lying to herself. However, she couldn't sacrifice it all, not again. She didn't even think anything was going to happen between Lindsey and her, given that he was seeing someone too. Wrong again. What the two of them had, it never went away. But that particular time, during The Dance, both Stevie and Lindsey had too much to lose, so they stopped. They just stopped, lying to themselves that that was most definitely the end of them. 

A few short years later and Stevie wanted to go back. Every time she laid eyes on Lindsey, her heart skipped a beat. She loved him, she never stopped loving him and that was that. She guessed, Lindsey felt the same. He wouldn't have kissed her the first time and he wouldn't have let her kiss him again if he didn't feel it too. Stevie wasn't sure where they were headed, she knew her heart would most likely be broken again, but she didn't care. She wanted to find out what the future held for them.

A knock on the door brought Stevie back to the present. She sat up against the headboard and invited whoever was on the other side of the door in.

"Lindsey."

"Hey." He half smiled, standing in the doorway. "I'll close the door."

Stevie nodded and pulled her knees against her chest. "Did you want something?"

Lindsey approached the bed and sat down. He hesitated to speak. "You drive me crazy."

Neither of them expected that reaction, but Stevie started laughing. "Likewise."

"I'm a married man, I have a family. You have a husband. But..." He bit into his lower lip, shaking his head. "Steph, you're all I can think about since we moved into this damn house. It's wrong, I shouldn't feel like this, but I do. And I want you to know that."

Stevie didn't reply instantly. She looked at him for a minute, taking in his handsome face, focusing on his blue eyes, before she concentrated on his lips. Then she looked away. "Are we ever going to stop feeling this way?"

Lindsey laughed lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "Honestly? I don't think so."

Stevie smiled at him, holding out her hand for him to take. "We're a mess."

"Why do we only work when we shouldn't?"

Stevie shrugged her shoulders. "It's just who we are, Linds."

He let go of her hand and crawled into bed with her. She lay on her side, facing him, his hand brushing a strand of her away from her face. Scooting a bit closer, Lindsey leaned in to capture her lips. They kissed lazily, their hands slowly exploring each other. It didn't escalate into anything more, not that they didn't want it to. Stevie pulled back, her eyes landing on her wedding ring.

"Nothing good is going to come out of this."

"No." Lindsey agreed. "But don't tell me you don't want to get lost in it anyway."

She paused for a moment. She closed her eyes and shortly she felt his lips press against hers and she responded, kissing him back. 

They overstepped the boundaries and once again they were in trouble.