Radioactive - Book 1: Birth 🪼

Forty-Two

"I think it was fourth grade or so when Girvan moved to our Section N from another part of the country and was put in my class. For some reason he was friendly with me and genuinely wanted to be my friend. He would stick up for me, hang out with me, all sorts of stuff. He really didn't care... and then eighth grade happened. Have you ever heard of a pre-swell?"

"A pre-swell? No I don't think so..."

"It happens sometimes, kind of like people who develop earlier than others. A pre-swell is more like a premenstrual cycle; the symptoms before the disease type of thing. Well, Girvan was pre-swell, which meant that he actually got his first swell in the middle of his thirteenth year instead of fourteen or above... Heh, I can't believe I forgot all about that... Between the two of us, we thought that the both of us were pretty up and down regarding our hormonal rages but Girvan... It was like rowing in a row boat on a sea of tsunamis. I mean his mood swings were like nothing I've ever seen... We're more emotional in regards to hormonal changes but Girvan had mood swings like a mother. And they weren't very elegant mood swings either... We stopped being friends because..."

I pause, realizing that there was a reason I didn't talk about my past. This moment was not the best in regards to both me and Girvan. When the dust settled and all was said and done, I forgave Girvan but we were never the same. We were broken as friends, the only thing even fathomable was, as Nalak called it, 'highly anticipated acquaintanceship.'

"Ramey?" I look at him. "If it's too hard to talk about..."

"No, it's not that, it's just I haven't talked about it in a long time... Anyway, we got into a massive fight that kind of screwed up our friendship. After things were done, I had done some more research on pre-swells and found out that pre-swells have uncontrollable mood swings that reach to the beyonds in scale and magnitude. For boys, anger and violence are common due to the spikes in testosterone and Girvan was no exception. The fight only started because some kid accidentally ran into him in the hallway and he just blew up at him. I was like 'dude, what's your problem?' and then he turned on me. As he beat me up, with people watching us without a bother to even help, he proceeded to tell me every single thing that was wrong with me and how much he hated me. He listed it from when we met up until that point, calling me names that were like daggers to my heart. He let every piece of anger he had out on me and made to sure to leave no stone unturned regarding my flaws, my Emptiness, and my meekness. By the time someone got him off of me, I had a broken nose and a scratched eye that I had to get fixed up. My dad took me to the hospital while Girvan's mom took him to the hospital as well. That's when they found out he was a pre-swell and that he was actually in his first month of pregnancy. The doctor gave him some pills and he calmed down significantly, but our friendship was too damaged to repair."

"I'm so sorry... Why didn't you try to fix it though?"

"By the time things were settled enough to try, we were entering high school. It would be revealed soon enough that I was an Empty and with Girvan already being pregnant, he was really popular in school. For a while he tried to mend the friendship but I was too scarred by what happened and kept blocking his attempts. The only reason we're even remotely close is because of his daughter, Teeka. That kid... she's too adorable. She's probably the only kid I got to semi-raise."

"Why? Did he just give her to you like a peace offering?"

I laugh. "No... it was a complicated matter... At first it was because that dodo didn't take a break and came to school when he was close to going into labor. You didn't get to see that, but when people have their swells, in both the work force and in high schools, people have the option to take a week of rest off without any consequence. Like a free week. In work you get paid for it and in school, if you miss a test, you automatically get a 100. Anyway, he was already having complications; I could tell when I looked at him that he wasn't doing well. I found him in the bathroom agonizing over labor pains and called my dad. When Teeka was born, I was the first person besides a drugged up Girvan to hold her.