"Honey no one was assuming anything, we were just asking Harry if it was difficult knowing that another man-" My Father tried to reason but unexpectedly I slam my fork onto my plate and stand up unable to handle the conversation at hand. Not only did I feel weights of anxiety but I also couldn't stand H flirting with Stefano's girlfriend. It was very subtle but I knew H was into her at the moment which lit me in fire.
"I need to get out of here," I shake my head and storm into the kitchen where I lean against the sink trying to deep breathe.
I couldn't be here, I shouldn't be here. Not with H anyways. Everything has become so complicated and suffocating that it felt like I was smothering under life's grasp.
"Chanel, honey I'm sorry," I hear my father say coming up behind me I look over my shoulder. He turns me around and embraces me while I take in a heavy sigh and feel the warmth of his hug. It was as if I was his little girl again, needing a hug because the big bad world had beat her up.
"I'm exhausted dad, I'm so tired," I whisper into his ear while he rocks me back and forth. I know I should be supervising H but I didn't want to leave my fathers embrace.
"I know you and Harry are going through some things," my father says as I lay my cheek on his shoulder wanting to cry in his arms. "It's clear by the way he was acting before dinner. You don't have to put on an act in front of me Elle."
"I don't know what else to do dad, it feels like everything is falling apart right in front of me while I'm trying to put it back together," I breath holding onto my tears that I didn't want to roll down my face.
"Every relationship is going to be hard Elle. There's always going to be some sort of disagreement somewhere down the road because relationships are hard but if you love that person you will hold on. You won't let them slip through your fingers because you can't imagine your life without them," he tells me pulling away to look at my distressed face full of anxiety and exhaustion.
"What if I don't ever see this getting better?" I ask with my eyes glassing over as soon as I say the words I'm thinking in my head. I didn't mean to come out and say it but for some reason I was compelled to ask the question that haunted me.
"Everything gets better, once you've hit rock bottom there's no where else to go but up. You'll both be okay, I promise," I run back into my fathers embrace and bask in the warmth of it. It's been a long time since I've felt comfort that everything is going to be alright. I had a war waging in my mind on whether I could go on like I have.
Everything has worn on me and I didn't want to give up the fight to save Harry yet at the same time I was running out of breath. My bones were breaking and my lungs collapsing on me every time H would get violent. I just didn't know how much more I could take. Then again I couldn't live with myself if I left Harry trapped in his own mind.
H and I left earlier than I once previously thought but after my outburst at dinner and the subtlety of H's flirting I had had it.
I didn't want the issues of our relationship on display for everyone and with that in mind, I had cut the dinner party short. I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't take H anywhere or more so I couldn't let him be around the people I loved.
"Your family is great!" H tells me as I start to drive down the street into a main road. Rain was sprinkling onto the frosty ground as we road through the streets of New York.
"Could you just not?" I ask in a low quiet voice, I needed to contain my anger and frustrations because I wasn't sure I was in control of myself.
"Not what?" He asks me with a stupid smirk written into the lines of his lips. I became convinced he basked in my anger and frustrations towards him.
"Not talk, I'm really tired of hearing your voice," I keep a cold stone stare on the road not even wanting to glance over to see him. All I would be met with was his smug grins.
"You're upset I take it,"
"Wow I've got a fucking genius on my hands!" I spit rolling my eyes and stopping at the red light. The red light glows on our skin as I look over and see H's eyes stay on me.
"You know I'm glad I'm getting the credit I deserve!" He laughs causing me to start on fire all over again. He was the only one that could slip under my skin so easily.
"You are unbelievable! Truly! I don't know how much more I can take H! I really don't!" I tell bringing my voice up in volume from the blood that boiled in me.
"I get it it now!" H tosses his head back and lets out a little laugh, "You are jealous!" He tosses me a smug smirk that I wanted to rip from his lips. His dimples carve into his cheeks prominently as he scans over the emotion in my eyes.
"Of course I fucking am H! What did you expect? That it wouldn't hurt me when you were clearly trying to get into Felicity's pants?! I care about you! I care so much I am literally bending over backwards to figure you out!" Tears fill my eyes as I glance into the emerald eyes that are shaded over with the red lighting.
"You don't need to be jealous," he tells me as the light flicks over to green. Putting my eyes back onto the road I can feel my stress levels reach their peek. "Even though it's extremely hot!"
"Then why do you make me feel that way?"I huff pressing on the gas a little more to make the yellow light.
"I didn't know I would get you so hot and bothered, I didn't know your feelings went past Harry," H turns his body in his seat while I come to yet another stop light.
"They don't... it's just..." I sigh lightly and look over at H who touches the side of my face and pulls me in for a kiss. I let him lead me and press my lips firmly up against his breathless when he pulls away.
"Just what?" He whispers in my ear sitting back in his seat like he did before letting the effect of him drown me in racing thoughts. What did I just do?
Why did I let him kiss me? Why did I kiss him back?
Going through the green light I feel my hands fasten around the steering wheel. My eyes catch the light of the headlights of a car when I turn my head to the side. I'm a deer in the headlights as I freeze and hear the crunching of metal.
My nerves brace themselves and my body flings causing my head to slam against the glass window where I lose any light that emitted from the headlights.
N. Here is the double update my lovelies!! I may do one last update on Monday but we will see if I have time with going out of town and work. How do you feel about H and Elle? What would you do if you were put in Elle's shoes?
18| J E A L O U S
Start from the beginning
