BANGERZ 2: WORST BEHAVIOR (2015)

2. Past, Presents, and Future

I wake up the same way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

My eyelids flutter as sunlight fills the room. I turn my face into the other side of the pillow to escape it, letting my eyes adjust themselves. It isn't until I sit up, wincing at the dull throb in my hips, and look around that last night comes back to me. Oh, yeah...

I'm in Jason's bedroom, alone in his bed. The sheets are still rumpled with the imprint of his body. I'm only wearing his T-shirt. I grab my phone to see that it's ten a.m. and I have a few missed calls from Danny. As if all this isn't enough to remind me, when I stand up my legs tremble from the ache in my pelvis, and I almost trip.

I laugh and shake my head as I waddle to the bathroom. Last night. An amazing, exhausting night of first-evers. The confessions, the intimacy, the... pleasure. Jason had me last night. He owned me. I always knew how possessive he was, but after last night his dominance climaxed. Literally. I realize now how much I want to belong to him.

Maybe it's just virgin enthusiasm, but... I don't remember ever falling asleep so satisfied. Not even the first night Jason helped me fall asleep without any nightmares. He always makes me feel like that, though. Safe and at ease. I remember laying with him afterward, fatigued with content. Eventually I got up to brush my teeth and throw on his T-shirt, and he got up with me, grabbing his shorts. He claimed he didn't want to let go of me, so he didn't, dawdling to his bathroom with his arms around me still. We brushed our teeth in the mirror like some middle-aged married couple. Then we fell back into bed, talking for a little while about Danny's engagement and his dad's current scheme. Soon after Jason fell asleep, understandable after his long night, and I followed, drifting in his arms.

Wow. Talk about a Merry Christmas. Giving is just as good as getting, I see.

I come out of the shower wrapped in a towel and grab my clothes from my backpack. Once I'm dressed I text Danny, promising I'll be home in an hour, and make my way downstairs.

Jason must've turned on the Christmas tree already, because I see it from the middle of the staircase. It's an evergreen spruce, towering up to the ceiling, draped in gold ribbon and tinsel, adorned with shiny ornaments and angel figurines. Underneath is a massive pile of silver presents that I know Chantel wrapped.

The house looks different to me in daylight, and without the crowd I remember from Thanksgiving. It's still very nicely furnished and decorated, with the glittering chandelier in the foyer and rich paintings hanging on the walls. But it seems smaller without the goons, the gals, the laughter and wine and noise. Or bigger, depending on how you look at it. I always thought that a big house could get lonely and empty, until Jason reminded me that you make a house a home. You know that old saying, "Home is where the heart is?" It's never been truer than in his case. It took me some time to figure out where his heart is, exactly, but now I know that it's wherever the people he loves are.

Like his mother's grave. I'll never forget the look in his eyes when he introduced me, and told me I'm the only girl he's ever taken there. He's going to be the only boy - the only person - I've taken with me to see my parents. I've gone alone, because I thought it was easier that way, but now I realize I want to introduce Jason to them. It's about time, right?

I find Jason in the kitchen, flipping pancakes at the stove. Pancakes! I have to stop and stare for a minute. He seems so young - disheveled hair, cute nose, cursing when the burner gets too hot. But he's so mature at the same time - insanely chiseled jawline, with muscles and height, cooking breakfast on the morning after. He pours more batter into the griddle before noticing me in the doorway, and we react in sync. He smiles at me - a real smile, not just his trademark smirk or a tug of the lips - and I smile back. He also looks at me with eyes so warm and beautiful it's like I'm feeling sunshine, and I'm sure I look at him the same as I walk over.