1| LOSE SOMETHING ☆ BUCKY BARNES

FIVE

❝I PROMISE...❞

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   SOMETIMES CARMEN WISHES SHE COULD GO BACK IN TIME. She would do anything to be that five-year-old girl again who would just be living to play and to make her parents happy. All she had to do was go to school, play, color, and learn the alphabet. It was simple, and in a perfect world, Carmen would still be that little girl.

But perhaps what she misses the most, was her imagination. It was easy to imagine your life at five years old. Imagine your sweet-sixteen, your first boyfriend, everything a little girl could want is what Carmen exactly imagined life would be. Until she actually went to high school and realized nothing is just handed to you as she had thought. So prior to and after finding her first love, Carmen never bothered with boys or falling in love. It's all too cliché, she doesn't want to be a housewife and only be known for cooking and cleaning. Carmen knows she's worth more than that.

    She's always thought that way, and she'll always think this way. But excluding all of that, Carmen couldn't get the feeling of a warm hand in her own, and an arm wrapped around her waist, as she heard the thumping of a heartbeat, out of her mind. More specifically, the night she danced with Bucky. Which didn't make the most sense to her, because Bucky's never been anything more than a friend. She's never seen Bucky as anything more than a friend, so why is she working, but only Bucky consumes her mind?

   "Carmen Ripley!" A voice yelled and Carmen raised her hand, looking at the man. He looked at the girl before walking towards her and handing her an envelope. That's all he simply did, and Carmen didn't mind. Because the sight of her mother's handwriting was more than just a happy feeling. Carmen bit her bottom lip in an attempt to hide her, very obvious, smile. She then proceeded to open the envelope and pulled out the parchment inside, to her surprise there was more than one parchment paper but she ignored it and read the one that said 'READ FIRST' in all capitals.

'Dear Carmen,

Hi darling, I hope you're doing well because then it'll make this way easier to write. I would say 'but first' but unfortunately, this letter is nothing good, my dear. I've failed as a mother and no apology can
fix what I've done, and no condolences I send will ever help. Even if you are angry with me, which I know you will be, just know I'll always love you. And the pain you may feel is just as bad for me. I'm so sorry.

First, perhaps you can already guess, your father has passed. This is why I haven't written to you, I've been so heartbroken. George, your father, died only a few days after you were shipped off. I know his death was something you were expecting, which is it kills me to say the next part. So with that, secondly, you're literally going to hate me. Louie has been writing your notes since the second you left. I never shipped them out because I didn't think they were important. I always told him that I sent them and you were too busy to send any back. Oh, that is a lie I wish I could take back. Louie had gotten so upset that you weren't writing back, he thought he did something wrong. So in frustration, he went to the park, and I figured he'd find. But sweetie, I'm so sorry. Louie's been missing for three weeks now.