Toxic Divide: A Jacky Vincent Fan Fiction

Chapter 4

"Ugh, how haven't I been!" I yelled as I flung my arms in the air and glared out the window. This was going to be a long drive. "I know how you feel, remember all the crazy shit we used to do?" 

"Yeah! It's easy for you because you went to jail!" Shit. I guess I just proved myself to be extremely flimsy with word placement. Ronnie's demeanor went down. "God, I'm sorry Ronnie you know I didn't mean it like that." 

"Don't worry about it. You can make it up to me by telling me how you've been." 

"Great.. Yeah, alright so a few months after you wen't to jail my Dad passed away. We did everything together and I sort of leaned on you for guidence and..." I stopped and just slumped my head against the window.

"And...?" He said, as he kept his easy on the road.

"And so I didn't know what to do with myself. My dad was the only person I had, and when he died I didn't have a home, a job, money, or anything! My grandma took me in a bought me a house and a car and gave me a shit load of money I didn't even need. I took it all for granted and just blew it all on fancy clothes and jewelry. She's no naive, she puts almost 10 grand in there a month! How could she be so stupid!  Soon enough I was out every night drinking my life away, and doing drugs like it was my job. For the most part it made the pain and sorrow of my Dad passing go away, but deep down I'm so alone." 

It got quiet. Maybe I said too much, or scared him. But that was it, he wanted it and I gave it to him. It was a while before he did anything at all. He kept a sly smile on his face, and reached over and rubbed the back of my head like a little kid. I swatted him away and laughed. I was starting to like the new Ronnie. He was much more of a pleasure to be around, opposed to him always being low, and angry. Though being with someone from my past I actually valued my time with him because I was in fact very alone. It was a while before he said anything, but judging by the ambiance in the car I knew he understood me. "How about some dinner? Never made you anything back at the house anyways." I smiled and nodded. "Sounds lovely Mr. Radke!"

~

We finished up at dinner, and boarded the car once again to finally go and pick up the Lincoln. I was still beat from the night before, and still dressed in what I was wearing. Our conversation over dinner consisted on positive moments from the past, so I knew what was coming from the car ride home and I was dreading every second of it. I bit my lip and tapped on the glass of the window. "You're awful quiet now. 20 minutes ago you wouldn't shut up." 

"Hmm, oh don't mind me I'm just tired."

"Yeah right, you slept the entire afternoon there's no possible way you could be tired!" He said, adding a bit of humor into his tone. 

"There's my car up ahead! Thanks for dinner, and potentially saving my life!" I gathered up my things and tried to get out of the car as fast as I could, but was stopped as Ronnie's huge hands slammed down onto my arm. His eyes locked on mine, and I was frozen with fear. For a split second I seen the ambition and drive of the old Ronnie. "Let me take you somewhere tomorrow." He said low, and demanding. "If you're buying me dinner again then fine." I laughed, but he remained serious. I seen it in his eyes, and I knew exactly what he wanted but I refused to give in. He wanted to get me "help",  Take me to some insane asylum or rehab center. I wasn't having it. He got it easy. He has a band to fall back on and support him and all I have is my wine cabinet and a wiener dog. I wasn't letting it happen. I snatched my arm back becoming furious, and Ronnie's demeanor softened. I locked my jaw in place and slammed the door, storming off down the road until I reached my car. 

Turning back I could still see his SUV sitting there. I jammed my keys into the ignition and floured the engine halfway down the dirt road. Rage burned in my eyes as I stared down the road, gripping the steering wheel as my knuckles turned white. I was pissed. He was only wasting his time. As soon as he left to go to on his tour I'd be back to my old ways in no time. He didn't understand! No one does. The euphoric state, and sense of peace I get from it all was enough to keep me pushing forward.  I'm like a bull in a china shop. No rehab center, or counseling could stop me. Not even Ronnie Radke. 

I didn't even bother checking the speed limit. I just knew I wanted to get home as fast as I could and have a pretty little night with a bottle of wine and a big bucket of pistachios. As my house drew closer and closer, I hit the breaks and swerved hard parking just perfectly in my drive way. I might as well be a stunt double in action movies. I stepped out of the car and slammed the door hard. "Don't drink and drive!" Someone yelled from the distance. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see who it was, but darkness had fallen over the neighborhood so I couldn't see anyone. I gave up and made my way back to the house. Once inside I made my way to the kitchen and slumped down on the couch. Ares hopped up to join me, and made himself comfortable underneath my arm. "Ares, don't you ever leave babe. You're the only thing i've got, you know that?" Here I was, talking to a damn dog. I cracked open the bottle, and helped myself. Before I could force the wine down my throat there was a sudden knock at my door. I almost thought about ignoring it considering it was one of my neighbors just coming by to bitch at me anyways, but since I was feeling extra witty I decided to march myself right over to the stained glass doors to answer it. I swung the door open letting it smash into the wall, all with the bottle of wine in my hand. I looked up and felt my mouth fall open at the same time I let the bottle of wine fall to the floor. 

"Ronnie how did you find my house?!"

"I followed you, duh?" 

"So now you're stalking me?"

"I'm not stalking you. I knew you were going home to do this. I don't think you realize how hard it would have been for me to sleep tonight knowing I let an alcoholic leave my sight upset. Something bad could have happened." His eyes slowly fell to the ground as he looked at the bits of shattered glass and wine on the floor. 

"You really don't get it do you? Can't you see that there's no hope for me? I don't want help. You're leaving in a week so why waste your time?" I yelled, as I felt tears start to make way down my face.

"So come with us." He said, as he started to pick up the bigger pieces of the bottle, and welcomed himself into my home. "Come with you?" He walked to the kitchen. "On tour?" 

"Where's the broom?"

"All summer?"

"Where is the broom lady..."

"On tour...With you?"

I paced back and forth, crying and asking questions. It was official, I had gone completley mad. He stopped everything and grabbed me by my shoulders and shook me lightly. "YES ON TOUR WITH ME ALL SUMMER. WHERE IS THE BROOM?" I froze, and cracked a smile. I blurted out laughter and fell to the floor holding my sides. I don't know what had just came over me. I was happy, and frustrated all at once, and this is how it all came out I guess. "Good so you'll be on Warped Tour with us this summer, pleasure to have you with us Miss Devereaux. Welcome to the Falling in Reverse family, I guess. Weirdo." Ronnie helped me up and sat me on the couch while he shut the door from all the nosey neighbors and finished cleaning up the remainder of the broken bottle. Ares had fallen asleep where I left him. I scooped up the puppy and cuddled him in my arms. I loved him so much, and finally I felt the missing emotion that I haven't felt in so long. Ronnie had followed me all the way back to my house just to still try to cradle me into a self bond. He truly cared about me deep down, and he was protecting me. Almost like a big brother, and that's exactly what I needed. Someone out there convinced themselves that I needed help, and now all that was left was convincing myself.