Water Under the Bridge (Snowbarry fanfiction)

I can't help feeling

A week later
Caitlin's Pov
It's been slightly awkward since...well...Barry and I- um...had sex...again. Wow do I hate saying that sentence. I can't say it without cringing it feels like.

I haven't been feeling that indescribable pain of regret as much anymore but it still hurts. I guess this is a random update on my life right now. There's nothing interesting going on, except for one fact that keeps playing in my mind.

I don't remember a lot of what happened when I was drunk. I literally just remember something about Waffles, Snowbarry and sex. In all of it though, I said something.

I don't want you like a best friend.

I'm fully aware that is my drunken self making Taylor Swift references, but did I truly love him in that moment? I can guarantee I don't love him now....I think. He's been so awful to me and for me to still love him would be ridiculous.

I start to realize that I am completely not focused when I should be. I'm tracking Barry's vitals as he tries to stop a meta that teleports. He's in a tunnel and he tries to stop the girl from getting away with her so called lover. I watch as he just keeps getting hit and thrown around. He's loosing and badly. It hurts me heart to keep seeing him get hurt.

"Barry, remember: She cannot teleport if she cannot see. Limit her field of vision." Wells says through the intercoms.

Barry takes a wrench and shatters all the lights in the tunnel which turns everything pitch black. When he does that, it causes her to not be able to get away. Once Barry stops her I hear her say "he left me." Apparently Clyde left Bonnie alone.

Moments later, Barry, Cisco and I all stand around her as she tries to teleport her way out of a small meta prison.

"Is there anyway she can teleport out of this?" Barry asks Cisco.

"It's impossible. It's one-way glass. It's mirrored on the inside. No one dangerous is ever gonna get out of this thing again." Cisco tells Barry.

Barry walks up to Shawna, the girl who teleports and starts to speak to her.

"Shawna. Clay left you. He's out there, and you're in here." He says bringing up the fact that her Clyde left her.

"You know what the crazy thing is? I still love him." She tells us.

I stare at her as my eyes tear up slightly.

"Cisco." Barry says signaling for him to put her away.

He starts to move his hand to close her off but I interrupt it.

"Can I have a moment alone with her first?" I ask.

"Sure."

Cisco stops and Barry and him leave. I stand in front of her silent.

"What do you want? Do you want to yell at me? Tell me what I did was wrong?" Shawna asks with anger.

"No. What you did was wrong but I wanted to say I see where you were coming from."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I've been in a similar situation recently let's say."

"You broke your boyfriend out of prison and he used your abilities to steal?"

"Well, no."

"Then how could you possibly relate?"

"I'm in a situation where someone hurt me badly. He's done a lot of bad things to me but there's something crazy about it."

"You still love him."

"It's debatable. It's like I want to love him but I know it's bad. It's like he's infected me and I can't sleep, I can't breathe. I know it's toxic but I still want him. I think I've been shoving those feelings down but a week ago something happened."

"Why would going out with this guy again be a risk?"

"Last time he cheated on me."

"You're coming to me for advice now?"

"Well, maybe we can relate a little."

"Look.....um..."

"Caitlin."

"Okay, look Caitlin. I decided to cross a line for someone I loved and look where it got me. I was willing to roll the dice for this relationship knowing it could end in flames. I knew it was a risk."

"Like Russian roulette."

"The question is Caitlin, is if you're willing to roll the dice for this guy."

I close the door and walk away from her. Once I get back to the cortex I see Barry alone.

"Where did Cisco and Wells go?" I ask.

"They left already."

"Oh, why are you here?"

"I was about to leave."

"Okay."

He gets his stuff and starts to leave but I try to stop him.

"Wait, Barry!"

"What?"

He turns back around and I start to talk.

"We haven't really talked about that night really."

"I thought it was something we wanted to forget about."

"It was but I can't stop thinking about it. It's all I think about."

"Thank gosh it's not just me."

"You haven't stopped thinking about it either?"

"I can't think about anything else. What are we supposed to do?"

"Roll the dice." I blurt out.

"What?"

"Nothing...um.." I say attempting to recover.

"Roll the dice like what Shawna told you?"

"You heard?"

"I heard everything."

"Oh god. I can't believe you heard all of that. I'm so sorry. I-"

"It's okay Caitlin. It's fine. Russian roulette is risky..."

"But sometimes it's worth the risk." I finish.

He slowly walks to me as I chew on my nails freaking out. He puts his hands on my upper arms by my shoulders and I'm terrified. We put are heads close with our foreheads together and he starts to move his hands to my face. We start to move closer to kiss but it gets interrupted.

We both immediately back off and look at the breaking news on the t.v. Shock runs through my body while I cover my mouth and start to cry.

———————————————————
Authors note: Don't you all love it when I leave it on a cliffhanger? Sorry for the short filler chapter but I needed the cliffhanger.

When I was reading this over it kinda looks like I was establishing there were dice in Russian roulette. I'm fully aware there isn't. I was just using two different metaphors.

Next chapter is gonna have a POV that I've never used before. (In other words I don't use Barry or Caitlin.)

Whose POV do you think it will be?

Anyways,

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