ave atque vale

Melpomene Asteria

06/08/2018 - Friday

This mindless cycle of life. Over and over again. Cursed to repeat forever.

Have I been here before?

Probably. It seems familiar. But it also appears that I'm the only one that actually realizes that something seems... off. Nobody else knows, or, if they do, they don't care; they probably think that it's fine.

Sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. Or the world is going to end. I would like to think that maybe I'm the only truly sane one, and the rest of the freaking world is psycho and don't realize that the world is indeed going to end.

But who am I kidding?

WOW. What even? I need to stop writing this kind of stuff in my journals. But I mean I guess Aunt Aida specifically gave it to me so that I can express my feelings, right? It was either this - writing every day until I've let out my anger and sadness and the journal is full - or get friends. And the latter option is just laughable. So this is what I'm stuck with.

Um. Okay, where do I start? It's not like anyone is going to actually read my journal, but maybe I'll find it in a junk box in my attic when I'm eighty-something and can't even remember what I did the day before. Anyways, I'm a fifteen year-old homeschooled sophomore living in Yaak, Montana. I have long, curly, copper-rusty-brown hair, jade green eyes, and "warm ivory" skin. I know it's weird, but whatever. I'm somewhere around five foot nine, five foot ten. Something like that. But I'm not the stereotypical tall skinny girl either. I've got some pretty curvy curves, and I got some junk in the trunk, as well as somewhat biggish breasts.

But because I so much dislike my body shape, I wear soft baggy sweatshirts that mostly cover me, leggings for comfort, and high top sneakers. Not very stylish or chic, but who cares? That's just what I like.

Oh yeah. And how could I forget? My freaking name. My mother was an incredibly outlandish, eccentric, quirky woman when she birthed me, so she named me Melpomene Asteria. I'm not even sure why, I think she just heard it in a historical book somewhere and liked the sound of it. I don't go by Melpomene Asteria, though. Just Mel.

Just Mel.

Just me.