The Bryce Tapes

Chp. 2 - Justin's 1st Tape

Clay pulled himself together. He only had so much time before his parents came home, he couldn't waste it.

Clay took a deep breath and pulled the lid off the box. Inside there was a row of shiny numbered cassette tape, cassette player, earbuds and a sealed manila envelope. Clay brushed his fingertips over the tape cases before picking up and ripping open the envelope. He hastily pulled out a piece of yellow legal paper. At the top the word ''Rules'' had been written and then crossed out. Directly underneath that the word ''Advice'' had been written in the same thick black ink. Clay read the following lines over carefully:

Advice

1. Do NOT tell anyone about this until you've listen to at least the 1st few tapes

2. Do NOT let Tony find out about this! Or Kat! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT!!!

3. Find her journal (Ryan might know about that? idk maybe he's in on it too)

4. Be careful

5. This is more favor than advice - tell Justin I'm sorry. 

Clay quickly poked it into the inside zipper pocket of his backpack and turn his attention back to the tapes. They seat snuggly in the box, gleaming up at him as if they were daring him to walk away. To go against his curiosity and ignore them. Like they were aware he couldn't resist listening. Like those inanimate objects somehow knew just how much tapes like them had come to rule over his life as of late.

Clay exhale deeply and snatched the cassette player out of the box and flipped it over to check the battery compartment. It indeed had battery. So, he plugged in the earbuds, cracked open the cassette tape marked #1, and popped it into the player's wanting slot. He clicked the lid shut and, after one last paranoid glance out his window, pressed play. Bryce's voice immediately echoed out at him.

"Heya Clay. At least I hope it's Clay. Anyways, I'm gonna go ahead like it is, cause fuc . . .

 . . . it. I WAS SORT OF A MESS. Actually, not sort of a mess. I was a mess. Period. I spent was too much time drinking a wondering if anyone would hang around with me if I couldn't buy them crap or let them crash at the fancy-smancy pool house. Like if I was as poor as Justin, was I still be as popular as he and Marcus. Did I know and single person who actually liked me for me, and not because of my parent's cash.

I'm probably losing you here with the self pity, so I'll do my best to move on. I'll move on to the night when things really started with Hannah and I. You see, the first day Hannah showed up at school she caught my eye. But it wasn't until Kat introduced us at a house party that I dared to hope something might happen between us. That was the night I found out Kat was moving. I thought, hey, maybe with Kat gone Hannah would be lonely enough to give me a shot. I had know idea at the time where things were headed.

That night I remember how Hannah had started crying while talking about how upsetting Kat moving was for her. I remember putting my arms around her when she started crying and her leaning into me. I remember my heart was racing and my palms were sweating. I remember offering to drive her home and her looking up at me at giving me a tiny smile through her tear and how for a flighting moment it made my chest ache. I remember it all. I remember it all with a now painful clarity.

I didn't drive her straight home that night. Instead, we got a pile of greasy take-out for a drive-thru and drove around with the music turned up. And we talk and talk and I made her laugh. Oh God, how proud I was to be the one to make her laugh that night. I would give anything to have the memory of that night untainted, to just have it back the way I thought it was in the moment.

She waited until I was completely, unconditionally in love with her. She waited until I was truly, blindly devoted to her. It was only then that she slowly revealed what she wanted from me. Only when she believed she could get exactly what she needed from me did she open up about the parts of her plan she needed me for. And I complied. That's on me. She choose well when she choose me. I can think of no one else I've ever met who would have done what I did.

Yes, I helped Hannah construct the tapes. She, Kat and I sat together in person before Kat lift and over webcam after she left, and we planned and planned. Hannah added the thing about Kat saying Zach was for Hannah to make it seem like Hannah just had feeling for Justin and like their thing was more innocent and natural than it was. We decided to start with Justin because he was the easiest target. He was vulnerable because of his messed up home life, his go with the flow nature and most importantly, his attachment and dependence on me. 

At first I got upset. Justin was my friend and I didn't want to see Hannah with anyone else. But slowly, Hannah and Kat convened me that Justin was just some poor mooch pretending to be my friend for material gain. And that it was all for show, that Hannah only truly wanted me. 

So, I caved. When Hannah started making her move on him, I was right there on the inside pushing Justin toward her when he needed pushing. When he confided that he wasn't sure dating Hannah was a go idea because he had a thing for Jessica, I was there to tell him one date wasn't a big deal. Cause all we needed was one date for Hannah to do her thing. I even fed Hannah's ideas about the date to Justin as friendly dately advice.

And when he showed me the slide picture? I followed through on Hannah's instructions and sent it around. She asked me to take Justin's phone and send the picture. So I did.