Random Stuff

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Don't read.

I still remember the time I showed you the real me...

You were disgusted, scared, horrified.

“Are you even human? Do you even have emotions? What is wrong with you?”

I wasn't prepared to hear that... How can you say that I don't have emotions? I... I'm not a monster.

I have emotions.

The same emotions that you hurted with your cruel words, didn't even think twice before lurching those hateful words at me, those words that have scarred me.

Not the physical scare.

I wish it were that... At least it would have healed with time.

But no...

Your words left a permanent wound on my heart.

It still hurts and it still burns from time to time.

Even time couldn't heal it.

I forgot about the pain after a while.

But... I just don't deserve happiness now, do I?

Another person came, just like you, with the same cruel words. The disgust. The same hate.

The wound that was closed.

It started bleeding again.

And it still bleeds.

Why won't my heart just run out of blood?

I wished, begged even, I would have done everything.

I just wanted the pain to go away.

Go away like everyone else has done.

Leaving the broken me all alone.

I have learned my lesson.

Now I try not to show anyone the real me.

Do I even know who I really am?

I'm lost in myself.

I don't know who I am.

But they reminded me.

You are worthless. You are not human. Where is your emotions? Did you trade them to the Devil? How can you be so insensitive? Are you insane?

I know now.

I'm worthless.

Believe me, I would have given my life to someone who has people to care for them.

I would.

But how?

How can I stop all these voices that keep pushing me further into the darkness...

I know I scared you the first time.

So now I try to be who you want me to be.

I have lost myself.