I hate myself for abandoning Taehyung, because I didn't even have the power to help him.
I'm still living alone in poverty since the last time I saw my group of friends, since the last time I saw my best friend, Taehyung.
5th, June
I have a lollipop in my mouth and my hands are in the pocket of my pants. I was on the side of a street watching a girl giving papers. I've noticed that she takes the same bus as me when I head home or when I go to town.
When the wind blew the papers away from her hands, she quickly start to pick them up from the floor; so I decided to help her since there was a lot.
"Here you go." I hand over to her the papers I picked up.
"Thank you." And she walks away while I look at her from behind.
I've noticed that she doesn't have a hair tie tying to hair, but it was an elastic.
She looks at me again and continue her way, I think she noticed that I was still on the same spot, so I start to walk away from the opposite direction from her.
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After days and days, I still see her.
We always take the same bus at the same time. She enters first, she beeps her bus card and walks inside. I enter, drops some coins and search for a seat away from her while playing with a black hair tie, at the back and at the other side of the bus.
I wanted to give her the hair tie that I was holding, but I think I'm too scared to interact. Interactions reminds me of Taehyung, it's with one interactions that I lost my best friend.
My phone rang while I was taking the bus to my new home.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hyung." The voice said, I think it's Taehyung.
"Taehyung?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"Hey, what's up?"
"I'm in a police station."
"What?!"
"Yeah, I got caught."
"How?"
"I was on an empty street, scratching a close store's metallic door with a knife, that's how I got caught. They also charged me for murdering my father, because they were still searching for me and I taught that they stop since it was a month ago... I just wanted to ask you, if you can come to see me for the last time before I enter the prison."
"I'm sorry. I'm currently moving out of town, I can't turn since I'm in a bus."
"Oh, it's okay." There's a silence during the phone call. "Goodbye, Namjoon~hyung."
That was the last time that I talked to Taehyung and I was crying, I was blaming myself for not protecting my best friend, since my his hyung.
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As time pass again, days and days pass again. Today, I am going to finally give her the hair tie and talk to her.
Currently, she fell asleep at her seat, so I approach myself to her. I didn't look at her when I change my seat to be next to her's, but still at the other side.
At that moment, I am still hesitating to give the black hair tie to her.
And I finally decided to do something: I place the hair tie on her white bag where it is next to her seat and left the bus.
I disembark at a bus station filled with many graffiti, where I see the words I'm Fine written two times and one of them reminded me of Taehyung's calligraphy.
"Namjoon~ah! Look at my graffiti!" Taehyung scream to me. He drew an alien. "That's you!"
I start to laugh and wanted to kick my butt, but I failed.
I stare at it for awhile than start walking.
I just walk... I walk on a long viaduct just thinking about everything.
After Taehyung called me, everything just went wrong in our group of friends. Since I was poor, I move away to live in poverty, I'm not a good leader to my friends.
When I arrived at a dark parking lot; I stop thinking and just hated myself.
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Just to notify you, dear readers, Kim Namjoon is a great leader. :')
