Confessions of a High School Outcast

Chapter Thirty One: Concern.

"Well let's go back to the middle of the day that starts it all. I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling and now the red ones help me fly and the blue ones help me fall well I think I'll blow my brains against the ceiling. And as the fragments of my skull begin to fall... Fall on your tongue like pixie dust just think happy thoughts and we'll fly home."

Seriously where would I be with My Chemical Romance? Probably as dead as I'm gonna be once my mom finds out what happened. I swear to you it was all an accident but holding that letter being unconscious on the floor with a knife next to me and blood on the floor it didn't look like an accident.

You know what back to my chem. They are absolutely positively amazing. "Skye." why must you interrupt my thoughts? I opened my eyes kinda. The sun was out so I guess it was Saturday morning? "What?" Scar was the only one here. "I'm really sorry." "For?" "Knocking you out." "Don't be." "But then I'm not sorry because I was glad I did because the note in your hand." "Yeah that note. Speaking of that note where the fuck is it?" "Mom." "Nice." before I fell in love I didn't spend a lot of my time in the fucking hospital. "She said she'll get you the help you need." "You do understand that it was an accident right?" "How?" "See I was thinking about it then fucking Ben called me and I thought about it and decided no it's not what I want and I fell in the tub and when I finally got up you hit me with a fucking door." "So you were thinking about it." "And I wrote that stupid letter." "Mhmm sorry Skye. But you need someone to talk to." "I don't I'm fine." she laughed "You're fine? Wow. Your sessions begin tomorrow Skye." My mom was arguing outside my room with someone then walked inside "Skye you're up." she was holding the letter "None of this was supposed to happen mom really." "It's okay. It's really okay. When I was your age.. I don't know what to say but if this was all for him, I'm going to kill him. This letter is pretty fucking deep." and you tell me to watch my language. "It was how I was feeling at the time mom. I was mad and I wasn't thinking. Can I have the letter so I can burn it?" "Not yet. I want him to read it so he knows how much pain he's caused you and.. I'm sorry Skye really I feel like I caused all this." then she walked out. No lecture? "You have visitors though Skye." Scar said smiling. "Really? But if one of them is Ben please tell him to go away." she didn't say anything at first so I said,"I mean it." "Okay then." she walked out of the room. I sat up kinda and stared at the door. Brooke walked in first. "Skye what the hell happened?" "An accident." "Oh really? Wow why didn't you call me? If I knew you were feeling this way I would of went home with you and hugged you and loved you." "Thanks Brooke." "You okay?" "I will be." "You sure?" "Yeah it's Saturday don't waste it with me." "But why not?" "I kinda hoped you had something to do so I could be alone." "Okay I understand." "And I don't want anymore visitors so could you tell them I'm okay and just tired?" "Yeah I'll get rid of them." she gave me a hug "Thanks Brooke." "No problem love." I went to sleep after she left because my head hurt. No I didn't like any of this and school is gonna be shit.

I woke up I didn't know what time it was. I sat up and wish I didn't because Ben was here. I didn't know what to say I just wanted didn't want him to be here honestly. "I don't want you here please leave." "Sorry I can't." "Why not? Are you gonna say something that's gonna hurt my feelings and make me think no one cares so then I smother myself with a pillow." "No. Your mom yelled at me she also pinched and it hurt. I wanted to cry." "That sucks." "It does. She read your letter to me outloud and told me to feel bad." "You shouldn't." "I already did. She yelled at me some more and I was afraid she'd pinch me again. Finally she told me to go fucking apologize to my daughter and tell her how you really feel." he looked into my eyes then looked out the window. "Well you have my attention. Say how you really feel." "I feel like an ass a real dumbass." "I've heard enough you can go." "Why do you want me to?" "Because." "I can't leave until I'm finished." "Well you're done so bye." "Well uh since you don't want me here I'll apologize for everything I've ever done to you and if you hate I'll understand why. I really don't hate you Skye I love you. You just piss me off a little sometimes. Since I can't tell you how I feel about you I wrote it all down." he handed me an envelope with my name on it. "Thanks." "I'll leave now." he got up and walked out. I opened the envelope and unfolded the paper all it said was how I feel about you and the rest was blank. Invisible ink maybe?