I'm Apart of the Band

Chapter: Thirty-Seven

Ch. 37 Just call him.

“Hello?” I whispered into the phone.

“Shana?”

“Hey, Eleanor,” I sighed and flopped myself on the couch.

“How are you?” She asked. I just got fired from a job that I needed, Harry and Lucas got in a fight, Harry broke up with me, and gossip magazines have been calling me over and over again, just to get my side of the story of what’s happening. I wasn’t doing well.

“Fine.” I said.

“The magazines and the news! All I am hearing about is this bloody fight between Harry and Lucas after Lottie and I left the airport. What happened?”

“Lucas came to the airport and things got out of hand and Harry and Lucas ended up fighting.”

“How is he?”

“Lucas or Harry?”

“Both.”

“Well, I have no idea about Lucas. Louis grabbed hold of him and rushed him out of the airport. Harry had a pretty bruised up eye and his lip was bleeding.”

“Oh my god…”

“He’s not happy. I think we’re over.”

“What!?” She screeched at me.

“Yeah. He said he needed some time. He hasn’t called or texted me or anything since then.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re over.”

“Well, we’re pretty damn close to it.”

“Why don’t you call him?” 

“No,” I said simply.

“Why not?”

“Because, Eleanor. He’s angry and upset. If he still wanted to be with me he would have called me or texted me or anything…”

“You shouldn’t give up hope. Harry loves you. He can’t just leave you like that. You are his everything. Just give it time. I think you should call him. Even if it’s a simple hello.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just call him, Shana.”

“Fine,” I sighed.

“Okay, well then I’ll let you go. Good luck, babe. See you soon, alright?”

“Okay, bye Eleanor.”

“Bye-bye,” And she hung up. I set the phone down beside me and pulled my knees up to my chest. My stomach churned thinking about calling Harry. Would he even answer? Would he get angry with me? 

“Shana?” Piper came into the room.

“Yeah?”

“My phone. The service is off,” She held up her cell phone.

“Um…” I tried to hold back my emotions for Piper. Be strong. “I try to pay your phone bill next week, okay?”

“You came home quite early today…” Piper shared and sat beside me. I was trying desperately to blink back tears.

“Yeah. I know.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah…” I let one fall.

“Shana, what happened?”

“I was fired, Piper. I don’t have a job.”

“What?”

“I can’t pay the bills or rent. We are going to be kicked out of the apartment.”

“Get a loan.”

“I can’t. I’ve taken out too many that I haven’t paid back. Nobody is willing to give me one.”

“Well, we’ll figure it out,” Piper whispered. I could tell that she was scared but she was trying to comfort me. “We won’t be kicked out.”

“I’m just stressed. I hate this…”

“I know, but we’ll be okay!”

“And the magazines and the TV! I can’t go to school, I can’t deal with that.”

“I know. You shouldn’t have too alright,” We sat in silence as I sobbed. Piper patting my back. “Do you have any ideas of how to get the money?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well,” Piper shifted uncomfortably. “We do know people who have money.”

“I know where you are going with this.”

“I think Harry would be willing to lend us some cash just to get through.”

“But Piper, Harry and I aren’t exactly together.”

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.”

“But Piper…”

“Consider it. It’s either being homeless or getting the money. Your pick,” Shana then kissed my head and walked out of the room.

Homeless or getting the money? Getting the money. But from Harry? It didn’t seem right, taking his money. There was that part of me, that was sure that he would help me out no matter where we stood but I knew I didn’t deserve it. I almost didn’t want the money, if it meant it came from Harry. It was embarrassing to have to ask my somewhat ex-boyfriend for money just so I could not be evicted. I proved that I would always need him in my life, whether it was just for money or because I loved him more than anything. And I knew I would always love him more than anything no matter what. 

My hand shook as I took the phone back into my hand. I scrolled down my contact list, landing on my babe. My finger hovered over the call button. Just as I was about to press it and word stopped my movement. The word came from the TV. Harry. I looked up. 

Well it seems like, Harry Styles has moved on quite quickly. According to witnesses, Harry was seen at a bar chatting up a dark-haired beauty. Later on the two were caught leaving the bar hand-in-hand together and entering a van only to drive back to hotel where Harry and his bandmates are staying. Reports say, Harry brought the girl into his hotel room and she didn‘t leave until early morning. This is only one day after Harry got into an ugly fight at the airport with who people are assuming is one of his girlfriends exes. It seems to me that, Shana and Harry are over and Harry is getting his most definitely getting his revenge…

I dropped the phone in my lap. That dark-haired beauty just so happened to be Marissa. The thought that I could be brought anymore pain, was confirmed. Harry was with Marissa. I started to hyperventilate. He brought her to his hotel tell room? To do what? I shuttered. Marissa was beautiful. A drunk Harry, could have looked past her evil flaws especially when he was angry, at me. Anybody. He could have screwed with absolutely anybody and it still would hurt as bad as being with Marissa.

I was just confirmed everything I didn’t want to happen. Harry and I were over. He didn’t want me anymore. He was clearly well off without me. 

I could never understood why he chose me in the first place. He was a major attractive pop-star and I was just an average girl from Seattle. I hated that I fell in love with him. Why did I fall in love with him? It was clear I had no chance. I was fooling myself. I was making a complete joke out of myself. 

Marissa was completely and entirely right. I didn’t belong with Harry. I would never belong with Harry. He deserved someone better.

I just wish it didn’t take this goddamn long to realize it.