chapter four

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sorry for the long wait for this chapter. my laptop at my moms AND the one at my dads stopped working. so, i'm at a museum writing this. #dedication 

oh and I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ALMOST AT 3K READS I LITERALLY SCREAMED BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I HAD CHECKED I WAS BARELY AT 1K

don't touch me i'm famous

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As the light poured through the living room windows, Michael's eyes fluttered open. He couldn't help but smile at the lanky blonde boy still asleep and pressed against his chest. Michael quickly glanced at the space above Luke's head, seeing that Luke still had the one, pulsing above his head. He sighed in relief, closing his eyes again and savoring the peaceful moment.

Luke, on the other hand, had been pretending to be asleep for the past three hours. It wasn't that he didn't love being in Michael's arms, but he was afraid.

Michael was hiding something from Luke, and Luke knew it. It was pretty easy to tell that Michael kept nervously looking above his head, and didn't he once gasp when he looked there? Luke wasn't stupid.

Luke's heart stopped as he felt a kiss to his forehead. He grabbed Michael's shirt, cuddling deeper into him. 

"Luke, what's wrong?" Michael asked softly, meeting Luke's gaze as he opened his eyes.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Luke mumbled, his voice deeper than usual.

Michael frowned. He was feeling great, so what was Luke trying to say?

Oh.

It couldn't be. Had Luke already figured out Michael knew something that Luke didn't? Fuck, Michael had never had to explain his number... thing before.

Michael coughed. 

"Are you going to tell me, or not?" Luke pressed.

"Later? Please, this is hard." 

"Fine."

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Michael frowned, ruffling his bright green hair. How does one make scrambled eggs? It seemed so simple, but Michael was stupid.

Cooking was stupid, actually.

The eggs were starting to burn, which created a displeasing odor that filled the apartment. Michael could hear Luke laughing from the living room, which meant he realized that Michael couldn't cook.

"This shouldn't be amusing, Lucas!" Michael yelled, completely frustrated with his lack of skills in preparing simple meals.

"What did you just call me?" Luke yelled back playfully. "Hey, is this your guitar?"

"Luke, dont touch tha-"

"I'M PLAYING THIS AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Luke laughed, while Michael could hear him tuning his precious. Heh, he sounded like that one weird character from that one thing. What was his name? Hmmm.

Michael dropped the spatula as he heard Luke singing (and playing, on his fucking guitar, not like Michael was getting mad or anything pshh) a song he wasn't quite familiar with. But damn, Luke was talented.

"And as the sun went down, we ended up on the ground

I heard the train shake the windows

You screamed over the sound

And as we own this night

I put your body to the test with mine

This love was out of control

3-2-1 where did it go?"

Michael, of course, got distracted by the music. The eggs that were once only slightly burnt, became a charred and unrecognizable pile of black shit in the pan. 

Luke walked in, handing Michael the guitar.

"I'll cook, you play." Luke ordered, pulling various things out of the refridgerator.

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After the surprisingly nice meal (which consisted of toast, bacon, and pancakes) and equally nice guitar playing (courtesy of Michael), Luke frowned. He was opening up really fast to Michael, and he'd never done that before. He didn't like it.

Luke wasn't one to push out of his comfort zone. At the moment, he just felt fat and bothered.

(get it like hot and bothered but a really sad version of that oh)

Luke pulled down the sleeves of his black jumper, deciding what to do. He and Michael were seated on the couch, and Luke kept trying to inch further and further away.

Luke coughed. "Michael, I don't want to do this."

"What do you mean? Sitting? Okay that's fine we can go for a wa-"

"No, Michael."

Michael stopped talking and frowned, waiting for Luke to continue.

"Last night I said things I've never told anyone. I admitted to things I didn't want to admit. It's... scary. I don't want to have a reason to be here, but I can't even think of how it would feel to leave you without feeling sick to my stomach. I'm a scared little kid, practically, and I'm overwhelmed." Luke spoke, his eyes becoming glassy.

Michael felt horrible. Of all things, he especially didn't want to make Luke feel scared or confused in his presence. 

Luke left.

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If Michael were with Luke after he had went back to his house, Michael would have noticed that Luke's number fell back to zero. If Luke knew that Michael could see such things, he would have assured Michael that it shouldn't be surprising. Luke still felt pretty dead inside, and some cuddles weren't going to fix everything Luke had been through.

Luke sat on his bed, eyes closed, thinking. He liked to look at everything with as many perspectives as possible. How did Michael feel? Should he be afraid? Was this stupid?

Luke began to feel bombarded with question, even though they were from his own mind, and it became harder to clear his thoughts. He opened his eyes, and they immediately drifted to his dresser drawers. The top drawer contained the things he'd always keep to himself: his blades, his pills, and his journal.

Luke's journal had a list of people in it, for a very important reason.

And maybe, just maybe, it was something that needed to be shared. Of course, Michael was the only person who he'd even consider sharing it with.

Luke opened the top drawer, struggling to ignore the blades catching the sunlight next to his journal. He quickly grabbed it, rubbing his thumb across the journal's brown leather.

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ugh, i'm so freaking sorry guys! that took ages, and it wasn't really a good chapter. what do you think the significance of the journal is? comment below :-)

oh, and I made a new cover for this! I LOVE IT IDK

p.s the 'character ask' answers will be next. do not worry, i've got this! (not really hAh)

(and p.p.s, please look at the other stories i posted today. they're just ideas, so all i have at the moment are the prologues...)

goal: 50 comments, 100 votes oh

 (if you read this comment the weirdest thing you can think of and end the comment with "yolo 2k14" just so i know you're not just being weird for the heck of it)

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