Game of Thrones: The Song of The Wild Dragon (Jon Snow Fanfiction)

22. Words

"You were here all the time? We went looking for your for hours, trying to find you in the city, you can't just disappear like that!" Jon's voice breaks the very welcome silence that I was enjoying back at the beach not too far from the boat that we came in.

I welcomed the feeling of the thin and wet sand in my feet and the salty and fresh water reaching for me but most of all, I looked for some peace, far away from the Dragon Pit. Yet, I knew that I would eventually have to face it, face him.

I only look up to look towards him and then back at the ocean once again ignoring his angry expression.

"I was next to our boat all the time, it's not like I was hiding." I answer with a calm and low voice.

"Yes, but you didn't warn anyone about your location." He continues to sound extremely frustrated and after hearing a sigh from him and a few seconds of silence, I feel him sit next to me.

"That's just what I always did." I admit still not looking towards him.

"Yes but now we are in enemy territory and we were really worried about you."

"You seemed more worried about the possibility of Daenerys' not being able to have children." I say right away ironically.

"You heard us..."When he sees that I don't answer, he then continues. "I thought we had already talked about this and I didn't mean it like that."

I get up extremely angry by his words as I feel a fire burning inside me all over again.

"Yes, yes we did talk about this but it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me!" I don't try to contain any of my anger anymore as the words fly out of my mouth as an arrow its shot from a bow.

"You were the one that said that we were best apart, not me!" He says loudly but more frustrated than angry.

"Because when she enters a room, she is all that matters to you and I just cannot stay on the side watching and waiting for you to do something, to tell me what you really feel!" I continue to shoot angry words as I feel the fire of the anger growing inside my chest.

Finally, he gets up and I take a few steps back away from him without even thinking about it or what it means. He only stays frozen for a second, just looking at me in silence, the sound of the soft wind and the waves of the ocean is the only thing that I can hear which makes me think straight once again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Do you want me to tell you how I feel?" Suddenly I hear his voice once again and so I open my eyes to see him come close to me in slow but steady steps.

"I don't know... Do I? I just..." I sigh, my voice is too weak, I'm too weak. I look away.

"I know that it must be hard for you." He says while he stops only inches away from me.

"No, you don't." I look towards him once again as I say that. His expression is much warmer now, calmer, but his words are the things that worry me, those are the things that might cut me deeper than any knife or sword.

"I'm not very good with words or... Expressing how I feel, I admit that." His voice is as warm as the look in his eyes and just as sweet.

He reaches with his hand to caress my cheek and for a second I give in because I wanted to feel his touch so badly, to feel his skin on my skin and yet it hurts so bad at the same time. I push my face away from his face as I feel a tear escaping from my right eye and so I look away and clean it as quickly as possible.

"Don't... do that." I ask with a weak and defeated voice but I feel his arms wrapping around my waist and pushing my back against his chest.

"I can't." His voice his soft, hoarse and speaking directly to my right ear. My heart melting because of his words and my body warm by his touch and yet my soul is haking.

I touch his hands with my own and pushed them away but he only turns me around myself to look towards him once again. His forehead touching my own and I turn as still as stone by his sudden actions and out in the open where anyone could see.

"What are you doing?" I ask with an extremely low tone in my voice.

"Letting you know how I feel..." His voice is even more hoarse now and I'm simply speechless.

Before I can even try to make sense of his words or actions or even what I might or should say, he simply brings his lips to mine and kisses me. At first, I am so startled by everything that I don't kiss him back but the feeling it causes in me is so good that I am the one reaching for a seconds kiss and a third, not caring at all about who might be watching or anything else in the entire world. All that matters is that this is Jon's way of finally telling me how he feels about me, or even better, showing me.

When we stop kissing, even if it feels too soon for me, I look into his eyes while he caresses my cheek and then my hair. Looking at him now, I finally have no doubts about where his heart is. Yet a question is still echoing in my head.

"Why did you swore loyalty to her?" I ask still in a low voice as our faces are still only inches apart.

"Because I do believe in her and that she might be a much better queen than Cersei Lannister. But that doesn't mean that I care for her like I do for you." I only nod silently still thinking about what just happened between us and now his answer. "The only things keeping me away were your words about us been better apart... Because I've already lost so many good people."

Suddenly all I can see in his eyes is pain and sorrow, the memories of a painful past full of death and losses.

"You won't lose me." I try to guarantee but we both know that no one can guarantee such a thing especially when the Army of the Dead is getting so close to us.

Suddenly Jon looks away towards where he came from and so I do the same, noticing the Dothraki coming along with Daenerys that is looking straight at us. I was so focused on him, his words and painful memories that I didn't even noticed or heard them coming towards the boat once again.

Daenerys wasn't too far away already and yet I can't read her expression. Is she angry? Frustrated? Sad? Probably everything at once but I can't know for sure. All I know is that after this, things between us will be even harder than what they already were.