The Aftermath

54🥀

September 1996:
Justine

'OMG!' I ran into the hospital room and covered my mouth in complete shock

He was worst that the last time, he had bandages covering him up from head to toe, he had a brace around his neck and all sorts of things going in his mouth. I could say he looked peaceful because he was quiet but damn he must've been hurting. His whole body was swollen, you could see the bullet bruises and cuts that was visible on his head.

This is the third day at his time at the hospital and I'm just seeing him now because they had to put him into deep sleep because he tried to get out of his bed and he had a surgery that removed his right lung.

I didn't know if I should of touched him or not as I got closer to him. His body was so still, so still that I thought he didn't make it. My whole body was trembling and I really felt as if I was going to die myself at this very moment.

I really had to seat down like literally, my upper body was perfectly fine but my legs seemed as they were asleep. Before I put my eyes on him again, I said a quick little pray in my head. I turned my head towards him and all of a sudden tears start rolling down my face. It just shocks me to find him in this state and it's all because of me. Why the hell I jinx this shit? Why the hell out of all words did I say I hope some of guard shit happens to you? Why?.....that off guard shit should've happened to me.....hell I should've died in that car crash, Pac deserves to be on this earth more than I fucking do!

I took his hand gently and realised a bandage on his middle finger. I also realised that same finger was shorter. His hands felt rough and cold just like any dickheads soul that decided to pull the trigger on him. I caressed it multiple of times before setting it aside but still holding it.

'Damn Pac......all because of my big mouth....' I trailed of to myself but as I felt him move

My heart nearly stopped at that point....

My eyes got wider and I let good him but that was only because I got frightened. I watched his eyes slowly flutter as they were beginning to open.

Still the same old big eyes he always had.....

I got closer again to him as he stretched his hand out to me slightly. My eyes were still open as a motherfucker and I ignored the fact that his hand was shaking but not on purpose.

'Oh Jesus.....I didn't even mean to leave you waiting like that' I rushed out my words in complete shock as I held his hand again

He seemed pretty calm after that. His eyes were still open and he tried to turn his head to me but he was in a very painful condition. The sad thing was that he couldn't even talk to me because of the amount of tools they put in his mouth.

I could tell that he didn't want to let go, it seemed to me the only life left he had in his body was his hand. He squeezed my hand tighter as I did the same thing and it made me tear up again. I'm still surprise that I still have tears left in me because I've been crying nonstop for the past three days.

'OMG Pac.....I'm so sorry.....I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I really didn't mean to. I should've talked positively to you but instead I bashed you with my hurtful words and look where my words ended up.....' I cried to him 'You know I love, everyone loves you. All your friends, family and fans are out there sending prayers to God to make sure you come out the hospital, we all know you're gonna make it, we all......know'

He let his hand go immediately from mine. I watched it slip away as I stared at him with confusion. I wonder if it's something that I said or something I did. That's when I realised he was shaking the bed a little. I wiped my tears away just make sure I wasn't seeing strange things. I stood up a bit but fell right back down on my seat as I felt pain in my ankle. I tried standing up again but only half way as I had to balance myself on the chair.

Tupac's hand went straight into the railing of the bed and he started shaking it. I narrowed my eyes as I knew it looked like something wasn't going on right. His eyes started to flutter as they were close to closing. His speed of the shaking slowed down rapidly which made my heart beat fast. I knew something wasn't right, for sure.

Then his Monitor started to go off and it was really loud. I just stood there confused as fuck as doctors started running into the room. I had to take a step back because I knew they were gonna push me out of the way.

I realised something one of the doctors took out and put on his bare chest. It released more gun shot wounds from his chest and also a big scar on his right chest. I couldn't quite name what it was but I knew that it was something serious. When I saw the tool making noises and going up and down, I knew they were trying to revive him.

Did he just die?..........