"You kissed?" Joe stares at Bentley and I with an open mouth, and I stare at my lap, feeling sick and regretting every moment leading up to this. Bentley sits beside me, rigid but determined.
"Yes," Bentley whispers and peers up at Matthew, who leans against the desk, arms and ankles crossed. There's a chill in the study that I haven't felt before. I wonder if it's more the looks passing over my head between the four men than the weather. Bentley shifts beside me, hands clasping between his knees. "I don't regret it. I--I do wish I'd been a little more, um, thoughtful, though."
"Thoughtful?" Joe shakes his head. "Bentley, it would have taken you two seconds to tell us your plans before leaving the bed this morning."
"I didn't plan it, though," Bentley insists.
He eyes Matthew, whose lips are firmly pressed together. A thin white line that has me visualising Bentley balancing on a tightrope; one wrong move and he will plummet to his demise.
Sidney stands beside Joe, lips pursed. It's hard to read his expression, and he's yet to say a word. He looks a strange mix of annoyed and... and an emotion I can't decipher. His nose is no longer bleeding, though. Instead it's just red, a bruise starting to curl around it.
His eyes flash to me, and I duck my head. My tongue sits heavy in my mouth as I struggle to speak, to help Bentley fill the grave he's digging. But the thought of saying anything, of hearing ill-intended words returned to me... nausea rocks me.
But I'm not innocent in this.
Fuck, I kissed Bentley. Not the other way around. But they seem content to throw their anger at him instead of me.
I don't deserve this-- this kindness that these men continue to show me. I'm a mess, I'm causing a rift in their relationship, and yet they still--
"I really didn't," Bentley whispers. "It just... happened."
"Twice?" Sidney finally says, and his voice cracks.
My chest tightens at the sound. Sidney immediately clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest, turning away. I peer at him as Joe drops an arm around Sidney's shoulder. It's tender and genuine, and a rock forms in my throat as Bentley makes a pained noise beside me. He stands up and rushes over to Sidney, throwing his arms around Sidney's waist, staring up at the man.
"Sid, we spoke about the possibility of it happening. I'm sorry that I did it without thinking, but it doesn't change anything, you are my boyfriend, my partner--" Charlie is nothing. "--and we all agreed that we... that we'd give it a go." Bentley's voice comes out fast, but I catch every word. Bentley sounds wrecked. "I didn't mean for it to happen like this."
I swallow thickly, trying to dislodge the rock from my throat. Give it a go. The rock is stuck, slowly suffocating me. I feel like I'm choking. Am I just a toy to them? Give it a go... I am choking. But I'm used to it. I'm used to being used, blinded, shoved into submission. It's where I belong.
"Okay." Sidney nods, voice tight. He steps forward and drags Bentley up from the couch. I peer up at the two of them as Sidney hugs Bentley, resting his chin atop Bentley's head. His silver eyes find me, pinning me to the spot. I duck my head and grip my hands together until my knuckles are white and shaking. Why am I shaking? "Okay. Charlie? Do you... do you mind?"
Do I mind what? Giving it a go?
I don't lift my face. I can't look at any of them, I'm barely keeping myself composed as it is. My foot aches, my body aches, my throat aches. I want to curl into a ball and give up. Why can't I give up?
YOU ARE READING
Kiss, Marry, Kill
General Fiction[MxMxMxMxM] ~ Charlie Hewitt has a secret: his past is not what it seems. He's managed to keep it to himself from the age of 18, when he left home, and buried himself in his friendship with Blake Anderson. But when his best friend found himsel...
