Hi, there diary I decided to write this because of my illness, I have had it since I was born but we have only just found out its terminal. I'm not too worried about it which is weird but I will miss everyone, I guess I won't miss anybody because I will be dead but whatever.
You're probably wondering if it is cancer or something but I don't really know if it is cancer or not. I have a condition called Lymphangioleiomyomatosis it's typically diagnosed to 20-year-olds to 40 but I was the first baby to be diagnosed with it straight from birth. I call it lymph lung Becuase it's easier to remember and say. Lymph lung isn't actually terminal but I also have a problem called anaemia which makes it hard to control my blood loss, I also have Ectopia which simply means my heart is placed incorrectly in my body. I could have a transplant but to be truth full I didn't really want to risk having a transplant because I would have to get a new lung and I don't want to risk dying on the operation table. It wouldn't be the first time nearly dying on the operation table, I have had to have operations on my lungs before to try and fix them and I have also had a few transplants to see if my body will reject a new organ, I have also had an unsuccessful operation on my heart which nearly killed me.
From the age of 10, I have had many looks given to me because I am apparently a strain in the economy because I am under the age of 18 I don't have to pay for the supplies used. Also Since my parents put up a charity for research on new medical conditions people have been starting lots of rumours saying that they are only doing it for the money but they couldn't be more wrong!
One thing I have learned is that you can't trust anyone and nobody is truly nice. I used to share a room with the children ward but people started getting annoyed at nurses constantly coming in to check if I was okay, after I was born the surgeons decided to try and place my heart correctly as it was apparently a dire situation however they just ended up causing more problems causing me to have a cardiac arrest at a super young age. I obviously ended up okay but it caused lots of problems later on. Now I have heart attacks a lot which means my lifeline goes off like crazy which made people get annoyed with me which also made people dislike me.
Anyway, that's enough of that I thought I would write some insight so whoever reads this isn't clueless. I'm actually quite content with dying I just want to be able to walk and stand up for the first time. I want to be able to go to the beach, go to school, go to the park without some machine attached to me!
I want to be... Normal.
Anyway let's start with what my name is and who I am, I guess the basics. My name is Mae Davison I am 18 in July and I am also a girl. I have lived in a hospital my whole life because my parents can't afford to pay for all the things I need, although I will need to try and find some way of supporting myself on my birthday because I won't be able to have free supplies anymore but I need to try and not worry about that right now, July is 6 months away and I'm sure they won't kick me out on my birthday.
My doctor's name is Grace Dennis and she has been like a second mum to me since I was born. My real mum is Scarlet Baxter and my dad is Tyler Baxter, my mum is training to be a nurse and my dad is a technician, they both changed their career for me which makes me kinda Sad. I have 2 little sisters Darcie and Dottie(Dorothy ) I usually refer to them as the twins for obvious reasons. They were only 5 so they never really understood I was ill but they did know they couldn't okay with me which made me quite upset although I do tell them stories and I skype them most nights so I can say goodnight and tell them stories. My mum and dad usually come to the hospital every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Grace usually lets the twins use an old hospital bed to stay the night and keep me company, she isn't meant to because if there aren't any beds and there is an emergency she will be in more trouble than the patient, however, she only usually let's happen when there are at least 20 spare beds to be in the safe side. It makes them really happy but usually me happier than them. Everything is going really good lately grace is going on holiday though which means I will get a new doctor for the 2 weeks she is gone which is sad she does need time away with her husband.
Right, I m going to go sleep now I am really tired hopefully I can go out tomorrow with my new oxygen machine it's less noisy and it's more portable so cool! Night diary
