Lucas ✔️

Eleven

I had cried myself to sleep again that night.

I counted myself lucky that meeting Lucas had given me one night off from crying, but I should have known it wasn't going to last. Plus, going to school had been a lot harder than I pretended it was. It was so difficult, I nearly left three times. It wasn't just the stares from the kids, the whispers, or the comments, it was also the fact that I was hopelessly behind and struggling to pay attention. I even doubted if tutoring with Amy would make any difference. Sure, I knew how to do one thing, but I was still months behind - and I expected to catch up when I wasn't even putting in everything I had?

The water ran down my body, scalding me and leaving bright red marks over my usually pale skin. I didn't really care at that moment and would have stayed in the shower longer if I knew I wasn't already running late. I dressed quickly, shoving on another random pair of jeans and a hoodie from the floor, making sure they both smelled okay before drowning myself in deodorant anyway. I quickly laced my boots up and chucked my hair into the same messy bun as the day before. I hadn't washed it in a couple of days and it was starting to look a bit gross, but not gross enough for me to actually care. 

I heard the car horn beep and ran down the stairs two at a time, slamming the front door behind me because there was no one there to tell me off for it. I skipped breakfast, the same way I had skipped dinner the night before, for the same reason: he couldn't tell me not to. 

It's your fault, you know, Dad. If you were here I would be eating properly, sleeping properly, and I wouldn't be slamming the door.

Cole sent me a big grin, waving at me from the driver's side and Janie from the passenger's side. I slipped in the back with a smile of my own, ignoring the grumbling protests of my hungry stomach. Janie turned in her seat to look back at me as Cole sped off towards school.

"So?" Janie asked, giving me a small glare. "You never called me! What happened?" She asked, visibly shaking in her seat from excitement. 

"Oh, sorry, Janie," I mumbled. "I completely forgot," I admitted, intertwining my hands and looking down at them. They were a bit ugly, a bit too bony for my liking. They used to look better, and the skin used to be softer - more looked after - and my nails used to be long and shiny, not short and jagged. 

"So, how was the tutoring?" Cole asked, oblivious to Janie's worried stare.

"It was good, I managed to answer some questions."

"And? How are the new kids?" Cole asked, his eyes meeting mine in the rearview mirror as Janie turned to look out the front again. I could see her playing with her own fingers, a sure sign she was worried about me. "What are their names, anyway?" 

"Amy and Shax," I said, looking out the window. "They're alright. Pretty nice, I guess," I said, watching as we drove past the bar. I didn't feel any clenching today, no disappointment that he wasn't there, just disappointment that I ever cared so much in the first place. 

Still, even with that disappointment gnawing on my insides, I couldn't help myself. "Hey, have you guys heard of some new guy in town called Lucas?" I asked, them keeping my voice neutral and my eyes out the window, so they wouldn't see how much I really wanted to know the answer.

It was a small town so, usually, everyone would hear the second someone new moved in. The fact that we had three new people in town, who were all drop-dead gorgeous no less, was no coincidence. Surely, they knew each other. My mind wandered back to the day I first saw Shax and Amy standing outside the bar and how Shax had been talking to someone. Maybe that was Lucas? I mean, who else could it have been? I only had to think it for a second before my brain answered my own question: anyone. It could have been anyone.