Lovelorn - adj.
When somebody loves someone, but they don't love them back. Often times the person in love is miserable and just longs to have the other person feel the same way and to be near them.
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Spring of 1950
"Bom...
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"I have thought about it and hated it; I don't want to marry her. . . I want to marry Sunhae, someone I truly love and cherish. She is not even pretty or smart."
I remember telling that to my father before the wedding, and he was not happy with what I had to say.
I get up and head out of the bedroom as I go to check on the heater. I put in more firewood and close the latch. I go to the kitchen and see her sleeping on the living room floor.
I drink some water and walk over to her as she is sleeping. I look at her and shake my head as she looks pathetic. I'll never love you so I'll only be with you for a year... then, we will get a divorce, and I'll marry Sunhae. I walk away from her and back in bed as I need my sleep for work. I cover myself and turn to my side as I remember Sunhae's pretty smile.
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I wake up and push her away as I am still tired and don't want her touching me. "Geez... GO AWAY!" I say to her as I turn my back to her and cover myself with my blanket.
I hear her getting up carefully and leave the bedroom. I uncover myself and sit up from the bed as I can no longer go back to sleep. Pabo!! Stupid!!
I sit there and listen to her moving around outside of the bedroom. I take my notebook out and begin to write an entry.
March 5, 1950
Who should I hate the most her, my parents, myself? I'm angry about not being able to see Sunhae as she is heartbroken about this marriage. I should have taken Sunhae's hand and married her. We could have left this town and start a new life in Seoul.
I close the notebook as I have to get ready for work. Slowly going to the bathroom, I see that she made breakfast and packed my lunch.
I lift the rag up and see the food as I scrunch up my face. I cover it and walk to the bathroom. I turn the boiler as I'm going to take a bath and ready for work.
I'm sorry, Sunhae... I didn't mean to hurt you; I promise to get rid of her. Will you wait for me??
I sit in the bath and relax in the warm water. I wish I could stay here longer, but the guys need me. I'll stay late tonight, so I don't come home to see her.
I get up from the bath and grab the towel as I quickly dry myself. One by one, putting on my clothes and brushing my teeth.
I leave the bathroom and into the room as I grab a pair of socks. I head out of the room and put on my coat. I walk out of the house and make my way down the hill.
I see her walking up the hill and looks sad. Well, her parents went back home so she should feel sad.
"Annyeong haseyo!" Said Bomi, I look up at her but quickly look away.
