BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY. [ON HOLD]

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY ⤵ ENVY

❝Envy was the most frightening of all - It’d creep up on him like a snake, slithering through his veins until it consumed him; turning his crush into a dangerous obsession. ❞

               Calvin "Snoop" Broadus wasn't exactly jealous, he had materialistic shit as well. He had a nice house, nice cars, loving parents and money that could last him at least for the next fifteen years. But he still wanted more. Whatever ability or skill someone else had, he wanted it. His dude, Dre could make beats without any problems, so eventually, Snoop wanted to start making beats, he failed horribly at it, but he didn't care.

               He was starting to think it was a mental issue or something. He couldn't help but want things other people had. If one of his boys who were on the same record label as him won an award and he didn't, he would clap, of course, to show support, but inside, he was burning with hatred and jealousy.

               He just wanted to take what the rest of them had. He wanted to have all of the talent and success and leave the rest with nothing, not even the clothes on their backs. He wanted to make it to the very top, have everyone scream his name while everyone else sank lower and lower as he developed their traits. He wanted to take them down and then laugh when he passed them in his Lamborghini Diablo as they sat outside of a corner store with a plastic cup in their hands, begging for spare change.

               He pretended to be their homies, but each time they sat down and smoked a blunt together, he would just be thinking of ways he could ruin their careers or do something - anything to knock them out of the spotlight for a while.

               "Yeah, they got me nominated for Best Rap Artist or some shit like that," Dre said and Snoop slowly nods his head as he took a drag of the blunt in his hand. He looked at the blunt for a few seconds and passed it to Nate, who was sitting down next to him on the floor. "I think I could win this shit, too."

               Nate spoke, "Man, you got this shit. You nominated with some cats no one give a fuck about. If you don't win, it's rigged or some shit," The man said and Dre nods his head, "Aye, Snoop, what you nominated for?" He questioned, passing the blunt to Dre. He looked over at Snoop when the male doesn't answer, he was instead just staring at the wall with a blank expression on his face. "Yo, Snoop," Nate said again.

               Dre chuckled when the boy once again didn't respond, "This nigga fucked up," He said before he reached over and nudged Snoop on the shoulder causing him to break out of whatever trance he was in and look over at the two, "Damn, the weed hit you that hard, nigga?"

               Snoop shook his head as he let out a fake laugh. He was nominated for a few awards too, but he didn't care. In his opinion, he didn't care if he had thirteen nominations and everyone else only had one, he wanted them all. He didn't even remember when or how he started to get this hateful and vile towards his friends.

               He think it had something to do with that one time his boy, Pac won two awards at the Soul Train Awards, and he wasn't even nominated for one. After that night, he felt the need to have to be better and bigger than those around him.

               Of course he would never tell anyone how he was truly feeling inside because he knew they would just laugh at him and call him a bitch, because most of the time, it was women who envied other women for their success, but how he felt, it was way pass jealousy - it was intense hatred for anyone besides himself.

               He sometimes felt insane from how much resentment he felt towards the others. There's been many occasions when he would snap out of whatever little trance he was in and would feel a sharp pain in his hands, he would look down to see that his knuckles were bloodied and bruised from punching the walls or doors whenever someone achieved something greater than he did.

               Honestly, he was afraid. He was afraid of himself. Of what he might do if this hatred and jealousy got too strong to the point of where instead of him hitting walls and doors, he would come back and see himself holding a bloody knife in his hand, standing somewhere deep in the woods with a shovel at his feet and a six feet hole in the ground with a lifeless body laying at his feet.

               He doubt that he would ever take it that far - but lately, he's been terrible at hiding his anger and he knew this sin that he carried on his shoulders would be the one thing that destroyed him, if someone else didn't destroy him first, if they found out how he really felt about them. How he wanted to take every thing from them and leave them hopeless and broken; dead.

               "Man, Snoop, what the fuck?!" Dre suddenly said causing the male to blink a few times and look at him, "You making me real uncomfortable. You been staring at me for almost two minutes. The fuck wrong with you?" He questioned, looking his boy up and down. He then let out a small laugh, knowing Snoop was just high and probably didn't even realize what he was doing, "I ain't never hear of nobody dying from no chronic, but you looking real strange over there."

               Snoop shook his head, "I'm just fucked up, man," He said and the three of them laughed again. Little did they know, he wasn't talking about being high - He meant his mental state and mind.

               It was envy of God that caused the fall of the angels. Hell only existed because of envy. It was envy that brought on the fall of our first parents. The devil envied their happiness, so he tempted Eve, who tempted Adam, who brought sin into the human race. It was envy that caused Cain to kill Abel, his own brother.

               This sin - or disease would be the death of him. He already knew it. But he couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried. And please believe, he did try, but it refused to go away.

               So he allowed the disease to eat him alive - eat him from the inside out, up until he woke up one morning with blood on his hands and dirt on his clothes. He'd just allow the darkness to consume him until he saw nothing but the emptiness in his soul and the anger in his heart.

AUTHOR SPEAKS: I know this is short, but I just wanted to get something out before I took too long to upload and then decide to take it down. But this one was kind of hard to write, which is another reason it's so short, but I’m not going to ramble anymore - I hope you all enjoyed, and I’ll hopefully have the next chapter up soon.