If Only - Book 1

Lost in a Memory

I: October 6, 2017- So, ERUIN MOTHERF**KIN ASKED ME OUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SO HAPPY AND I'M ABOUT TO GO TO THE HOMECOMING GAME AND IT'S GONNA BE LITTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! I am so happy right now like you can not believe. But anyways I've gotta go. Wish me luck!

----------October 15, 2017- I'm bored. But at the football game 2 days ago, when Eruin had to go. We hugged and he SQUEEZED MY BUTT. And it did feel good tbh. Ok I'm blushing rn, gtg, lol.

----------October 18, 2017- So I got a new pen and it's f**king lit!... brb... 7 minutes later... Ok I'm back! So... I feel like I'm falling in love with Eruin. It's just that... I don't think he loves me back.:( And tomorrow is a school dance and he always squeezes my butt and it feels amazing!!! So I can't wait till we slow dance and he secretly grabs or squeezes my butt. Ahhhhggg. Although I'd be fine with just slow dancing because he's an amazing person. So nice and a gentleman and funny, flirty (I like, lol), I also feel like he'll be a great kisser tbh. So I also can't wait to kiss him. Or make out in bed and he keeps grabbing my butt and squeezing it. OMG! I CAN'T WAIT! Then Friday I'm very excited for for because it's Eclipse's party and we're going to an escape room, (or as Ada calls it, 'A Panic Room', lol) but, it's suppose to be at least an hour long and you basically search for these clues to try to get out. I'm so f**king ready. And after that I get to go to a haunted farm with my mom and but cousin Sedrik and two other people that I don't know. I'm probably going to cuss a lot and grab onto him too because sh*ts gonna get f**ked and lit. lol, I'm gonna shit myself. OMG F**K ME! ;'D (If you don't know who Eclipse is, then she is a friend and she's a very negative person and I hate it a lot. And if you don't know who Ada is, then she is my dad's girlfriend and she's really funny)

---------October 19, 2017- First, I have a dance right now in like 40 minutes so I'll go quick................ So, for the past few 6 days maybe, I've been feeling a little/lot down and scared, because me and my mom got in a big fight over her saying that she's getting left out of stuff for like the holidays and what the plan is for like somebody's birthday or something. And I feel really guilty and I've only told 2 people about what happened, and finally I've built up the courage to type it on here because again... I've been scared. Anyways, those 2 people are my dad and Marigold, if you don't know who Marigold is then; she has been my bestest friend since 1st grade............... I gtg!

------------October 22, 2017- Heyyyyyyy, me and my mom are doing better I guess. We've been talking and laughing but there is still this vibe in the air... like we're still mad at each other. But, enough talk of that. So, today is Sunday and last Thursday was the dance, and was lit...;) I danced with Eruin, and he is just so romantic and hot and... imma cry... I'm so happy... it definitely feels like love. :,) I really hope we don't break up. When we were slowing dancing at the dance he would give me this really sexy stare and I was blushing so fucking much, haha. Then, Friday was Eclipse's party and we went to an escape room which was nothing I expected it to be. We went into this small room and we had to do like science and math to get out... it was weird. And there was a freaking nother room we didn't get to because we're so stupid, haha. After that they went home and I went to a haunted farm with my mom, her boyfriend (Daryl), two other people I didn't know, and my cousin Sedrik. It was it little lame tbh. Then, I went to Eclipse's house around 12 a.m to spend the night. It was fun... I guess. And last night I went to go see 'Happy Death Day'. It was funny/scary/suspenseful, whatever. But it was a good movie. Annnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddd now you're all caught up to right now. Lol, life, I swear, lol, goodbyeeeeeeee.