delete or return?

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i want to die,
delete myself from this space,
from being alive,
i'm bleeding,
bleeding fears,
tears,
and memories,
try to stitch up the cuts,
but the needle won't even reach too deep,
i have to get myself together,
be strong for everyone,
but when someone mentions death,
i forget life is worth living,
i want to want to live,
i want it to stop,
the reminders,
playing on repeat,
exhaustion seeping into my bones,
laughing and giggling making themselves known,
a craving to want their happiness,
a desire to know if it is real,
curiosity at its greatest,
options behold themselves in front of me,
delete or return?
which ones the real deal?

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