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Chapter 28: Stairway to Heaven

"If you stay, you're going to become angry. And that man you love, you'll hurt him."

"I don't love him," you mumbled, allowing your eyes to wander to Dean who was now being escorted out to the waiting room. His eyes were rimmed red, as were Sam's. You hated that you were causing them this pain.

"I've escorted a lot of people out of this life, and a lot of those people had someone they loved. Maybe you don't know you love him or that he loves you, but do yourself a favor and accept it. Whatever happened between the two of you in life made you both fall in love."

"No," you shouted, getting angry that this reaper who didn't even know you thought she could map out your life just like that. "We aren't in love. He never looked at me that way." Your voice fell away to a whisper.

"Dean Winchester is crying over you. Wake up, girl. He loves you. Winchester's don't share emotions willingly."

"Why does it matter even if he does? I'm stuck in this limbo and you won't let me go back to him anyway."

The door to your room was torn open and the doctors and nurses rushed your bed holding the body you were no longer a part of down the hall. They were using a bag to pump air into your lungs as the ran down the hall, calling out a bunch of things you didn't understand. You turned to face Lorelai.

"They're still working on me." You were excited and felt like there was hope still. "That means I'm not completely gone yet."

Lorelai shook her head. "They're going to do whatever they can to keep you alive, but you're already here. That means you aren't going to make it out of that surgery."

A tear fell down your cheek. "I'm really dead? Like, dead dead?"

She pursed her lips and nodded her head. It was beginning to sink in with you that you were dead. You weren't a person any more, but a spirit. It was terrifying to you. Sure, Heaven was supposed to be a good place, but you knew nothing about it. How good could it really be if it was the unknown? At least in life you knew the drill. You existed to hunt monsters.

"Before you somehow take me, can I go see the guys one last time?"

"Of course," she smiled.

You walked down the hall wringing your hands in nervousness. It was awful knowing that you were going to see them, but they weren't going to be able to see you. This was going to be the last time you would ever see them, the boys who quickly became the most important people in your life.

You made it into the waiting room. Dean was pacing, Cas was standing off to the side watching Dean, and Sam was sitting with his head in his hands.

"Dude," Sam said tiredly. "Can you sit down and try to relax."

Dean glared at him, but sat down anyway. He was bouncing his legs with his pent up energy. These guys were anxiously waiting to receive the news of whether you were alive or dead. It was destroying you to know that they were still holding on to hope that you were alive, because you weren't. You wished you could tell them somehow. Maybe it would hurt them less if it could come from you.

You slowly walked over to Dean and sat beside him. You could see the stress etched in his eyes and reached out to touch him. It didn't work. The only evidence that you had attempted to comfort him was the chill that ran through his body.

"This is pointless," you said.

Lorelai strode over to you. Her eyes were full of pity as she looked down on you in the chair. "Are you ready?"

You shook your head, tears beginning to fall at a consistent pace. You weren't ready. "No, but let's just get it done."

She grabbed your hand and everything flashed to a blinding white before your eyes adjusted to the brightness.

"Welcome to Heaven," she smiled.

You looked around and felt underwhelmed. You didn't see anything that you had ever expected it to be. It was basically just a long white hallway. "Where are the streets of gold, the crystal clear waters, or anything that it's supposed to be?"

Lorelai laughed. "That's the garden part of heaven. You'll get the chance to go there, I promise. That's not where you'll permanently be though. Follow me."

She began walking briskly down the hallway and you struggled to keep up with her. There were so many doors lining the hallway, and each one had a name plaque on it. Were these the residents of Heaven? If so, why did they have separate rooms? The closer you payed attention, the sooner you realized that the names weren't exactly what you thought. Each door had your name with a year below it.

"Is this Y/F/N me?"

Lorelai nodded and kept walking. "We'll get there eventually, but we need to go somewhere first."

She took a left down the hall and stopped in front of a large glass room. It reminded of some sort of conference room, only much more pristine than any you had seen before. There was a man in all white in the room, his back was to you. His curly hair rested on the collar of his suit. He turned around as Lorelai guided you into the room.

The man had a warm smile and a scruffy face. He looked friendly and personable.

"Miss Y/L/N."

He nodded at you and Lorelai placed her hand on your back and pushed you forward. Your feet caught up on themselves at the sudden movement and you stumbled to the ground. Even in death you were somehow not graceful. Lorelai gasped and apologized as the man helped you back to your feet.

"Thanks," you said. "Can I ask what's going on?"

"My name is Chuck," the man said. "Or God, but I prefer Chuck."

"What? you mumbled in confusion. This was too much. Not only were you dead, but you were standing in front of God, supposedly. God, who preferred to be called Chuck. How inaccurate was everything else you thought about Heaven?

"You're here because I want to discuss a few things with you."