The Trouble Is

Chapter 15: First Dates and Soap Smells

"Would you be offended if I asked to kiss you?" East whispers, leaning close to my ear.

I just shake my head, and then he leans in and gives me the lightest, softest kiss on my cheek, then my lips, and then he brushes his lips against my neck. Each kiss is feather soft and makes my mind scream MORE!

He holds both my hands in his for just a minute and then squeezes them as he says goodnight. I don't move as he walks back to his truck. My mind is racing almost as fast as my heart. I think about how he leaned in first when he whispered in my ear and then even more when he kissed me. Every part of my body that touched him is tingling—my arms, my lips, even that part of our legs that briefly touched.

East sits there for a minute, watching me watching him. He smiles at me and then starts the truck and backs it out of our driveway. I still don't move from my spot under the blinding lights. I watch his truck as it turns onto the next street and then slowly disappears. I can hear the small, creaky sounds of our house as I walk inside and lock the door.

As I go down the hallway to my room, I pause at the door to my parents' room and tap three times. Skip replies with a "Goodnight." The steady sound of the oxygen tank follows me down the hallway. The door to Doug's bedroom is slightly open with a yellow Post-it note stuck above the doorknob. Lately Doug prefers to try out new locations for sleeping. This time he has left me a yellow note that says "I'm under the bed." I'm not sure what to make of this development. Maybe I need to get a parenting book to see if this is normal. I look, of course, and he's there, all curled up inside a sleeping bag holding a flashlight and one of those Wimpy Kid books. I turn off the flashlight and gently move the book so he won't roll onto it in his sleep.

I fall on top of my bed and lie there for a few minutes, thinking about the day. I know I'll have to get up and wash my face and change into pajamas before I can fall asleep, but I am trying to hang on to this feeling for a few more minutes. He is beautiful, and I am such a dweeb. So much for that item on the summer list. He moves, I melt. He smiles, I melt. I think that sums it up. Oh, wait. He holds my hand, I melt. I think I can still catch the scent of pizza and some kind of fresh soap smell from East from my shirt. I breathe it in. Right now, in this moment, I feel like things are possible again.

I've been in bed about five minutes when the first text arrives.

<ready?>

I'm not surprised that it's K; just a little surprised at her impeccable timing.

     <ready for what>

<2nites quiz>

     <school's over>

<maybe so, but 17 mag rolls on>

Katie may be the only person I know who readsSeventeenmagazine and Cosmofrom cover to cover. She takes all the quizzes and tries out all the makeup tips religiously. I think she totally believes everything she reads. I feel a bit relieved that tonight's quiz is from Seventeen. It could be worse.

     <topic?> I ask.

<Are you in LOVE, or is it just a crush?>

     <No quiz needed. It's a curse>

<??!?? like some kind of Vampire Diaries thing???>

     <Dang autocorrect. I meant crush. It's just a crush. Now go to sleep.>

<did this curse-crush-love kiss you goodnight?>

     < yes...a little>

<and how did that make you feel?>

     <idk. I don't want to talk about it yet. let me think.>

<then it's probably more than a crush, my friend. time will tell. and it looks like we have all the answers without having to take the quiz>

I am not totally sure that I want to talk about this yet. Part of me doesn't want Katie dissecting it like some kind of science experiment with rules and hypotheses and variables. I just want to let it be what it's going to be. However, the other part of me wants to show her a high-definition video of the whole thing. It's too much to actually type, so I call her. The phone doesn't even finish the first ring before she answers.

"Spill it," Katie says immediately. "In order, please."

I tell her all about Sunny's and the old-school video games and his uncle's house.

"You went to his house with no parents there?" she asks. I can hear the awe in her voice. "And you are telling me that you didn't have sex?"

Yes, that is what I'm telling her, I assure her.

"Tell me about the kiss again," she says. I can hear the sound of her comforter being pulled up over her head. She sounds a little bit muffled when she adds a "please."

I pull up my comforter too and tell her again, ending with the part about him brushing his lips against my neck. We say goodnight and agree not to text any more for the night.

     <gnite K>

I send her the sleep face emoticon. That's my equivalent of K's flagrant use of the period when she wants to end a chat.

<gnite A>

It's true that he didn't kiss me, really, not like Katie probably imagines. It was more like a few little pecks. The part that I do not want to tell K just yet is how much I wanted more. I can't stop wondering what a real kiss from East would be like. I've only been kissed in stupid school-kid ways as part of a game or a dare in junior high. I curl up around my pillow and think about his lips brushing against my neck. I close my eyes and imagine his breath like a gentle wind against my skin. God, I am such a dweeb.