I GUESS I DO

Chapter 12

"Longest day of my life," Beca dead panned, the blinding brightness of Chloe's room being the most welcoming sight in the world (who'd have thought it) when she finally stumbled through the door and onto the mattress at one that night.

"Tell me about it." (Like really, Chloe would love to fucking know how a day that started with them eating breakfast and watching films with her family had ended in her getting her heart broken).

"Your family sure know how to talk," Beca continued, of course remaining oblivious to the side tone of seriousness in what Chloe had just said.

"Well you know I had to get it from somewhere," Chloe teased easily. "Though I think it's even sucked some of the life out of me. I'm gonna go get ready for bed," she added, already having scooped up her pyjamas from where she'd thrown them on the floor that morning.

"Sounds cool… I'll get changed while you're in there," Beca nodded, realizing that for once Chloe was actually planning on changing out of her line of sight (although it was probably for the best Beca couldn't help but feel robbed of the sight of Chloe's muscular, toned back).

If Chloe was the kind of person into psychoanalysing, she would have said that closing the bathroom door (and thus separating her and Beca for the first time in two days) had been like ripping off the façade she'd been wearing all night. Psychoanalysing was Aubrey's forte though and she wasn't here right now.

She considered calling Aubrey for the briefest moment, but decided against it, not only knowing how much her best friend resented being woken (especially if the topic was Beca), but also being acutely aware of just how thin her bedroom walls were (the last thing she needed was for Beca to realize Chloe had actually been dumb enough to get emotionally attached to her).

Instead she sunk towards the ground without so much as a soft thud when her ass made contact with the tile. She drew her legs up to her chin, wrapped her arms around her calves and bit in hard to her knee, allowing the skin that had become exposed when her dress slid up to muffle the whimper that fell involuntarily from her lips.

She just stayed like that for a while. She didn't try to wipe away her tears, didn't try to stop herself from replaying the moment over and over and over again, she never once tried to pull herself together. Instead she just sat, alternating between biting down on her knee and stuffing her pyjama t-shirt into her mouth to stifle the noise.

She just needed to cry. She just needed to let some of her emotions out before she went back into the other room and faced her Beca. Her friend Beca. Just her friend; nothing else (god this sucked).

She wasn't nearly done with her pity party when she began to actually get changed. She knew Beca would doubtlessly ask her if she was okay if she stayed in any longer though, and the last thing she needed was for the DJ to question her on why she sounded like she'd been crying.

(Not that lying to her wouldn't be easy enough. Beca was the kind of person that could make herself awkward, and probably wouldn't ask too many questions anyway. Still though, it was always nice for your friends to think you were at least a little sane.)

"Pull yourself together girl," she muttered as she examined her red eyed reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Game face, game face, game face," she chanted softly then, shaking herself of all remaining negativity and turning to click open the door.

"Did the toilet pull you through to ginger land or something?" Beca questioned, looking up from the battered copy of To Kill A Mocking Bird she'd apparently started to read while Chloe had been getting changed.

"What?" Chloe quirked her brow at the brunette, indicating for her to explain her comment further.

"My cousin Louise was ginger," Beca began, dropping the book to the floor beside the bed as she turned her full attention to Chloe. "We used to all tease her and say that ginger's lived in the toilet… we done it as a joke obviously, but it kind of became its own world almost, like Harry Potter only not as cool."