supernova: gravity (11th doctor)

Nova's Wife (part 2)

I lightly held my locket in my hand-- enough to keep it with me, but not enough to press it, as I trudged through the metallic, murky surface of the throwaway planet.

I was exhausted, and had been exhausted for awhile now. I couldn't tell if I just wanted to be alone, or wanted to be back in my universe. I didn't care for which universe I was technically born in or supposed to belong to-- I lived an entire life at Area 51, and it was familiar, and mostly safe, and totally mine.

I was exhausted, but above all, I was extremely, extremely annoyed-- because ever since Meredith's trial I could never be completely sure of my decision to go back even for just a little bit, and there were two reasons why.

The first, I found. I stopped in my tracks as I realized I was about to tumble down a very steep hill, and the sight before me gave me a feeling in my heart-- and then I remembered, hearts-- that I knew definitely wasn't human. A connection to hundreds of decaying TARDISes.

It was strange to look at each individual piece and realize its uniqueness and brilliance, and then look at the gloomy, beat-up landscape as a whole. But even stranger was to feel a type of sorrow and belonging to it all even though I had never interacted with any of these machines before-- at least not as far as I was aware.

I looked down at my locket again, and traced my thumb over the rough edges of the jewel-like ruby red-point star.

The second, found me.

"Nova! Where did you go?" The Doctor stood right in front of me, his gaze falling to the locket in my hand, nearly-pressed. He didn't move to stop me, but he didn't have to.

"Oh no, it's the worst when you do that. It feels all wobbly in me. And you." Idris circled around me.

"I went here. I'm sorry you're still the only one. I tried to say they were recordings..." I let go of my locket, looking down. I knew that the Doctor had discovered that there weren't actually any other Time Lords here when I left him before.

"Hey," the Doctor placed a finger under my chin, lifting my head up to look at his face, concerned. "I'm not the only one. You're here, right?"

I placed my hand over his, which was holding my face now, and moved it down, away from me. "Yeah, but not always. I know you want forgiveness from your people. And it doesn't really mean anything when I say I forgive you. I wasn't there. Or if I was, I don't remember it. I don't remember anything, and I have a human life in a whole other universe-- I'm like, barely a Time Lord. I don't count."

The Doctor squeezed my hand right as I was about to let go. "Nova, please-- of course it means something to me. Of course you count."

"But-- I don't even know enough to know how to do what you're about to do."

"What am I about to do?"

"Oh, come on," I turned to gesture to the land before us. "A TARDIS junkyard? I know what you're thinking."

"Yeah, it's impossible."

I almost snorted. "Since when do you care about that?"

The Doctor smiled and looked down, before turning to Idris, who was staring at the sky. "Are you thinking what we're thinking?"

"I'm thinking that Nova belongs where she needs to belong very soon. But she can want to belong anywhere, and that's the problem." Idris blinked.

"Um, no..." the Doctor remarked awkwardly.

"What does that mean?" I stepped forward.

The Doctor cut in quickly. "Nova, it's probably best that you don't ask about your future--"