I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 16 Kill All Those Mary-Sues

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Hao Wu Yi is presently working at a publishing company, and bears the burden of looking through innumerable scripts and drafts every single day. Whenever she experiences a mental breakdown after having looked at one too many scripts, she would immediately begin to whine to me.

Hao Wu Yi: So boring......

Me: Don't you need to edit your drafts?

Hao Wu Yi: The drafts are all terribly boring – they're all just varying forms of how the domineering president of a company falls in love with the female lead.

Me: But the readers love these types of books.

Hao Wu Yi: In actuality, I'm sure the readers are already tired of these types of novels. These writers ought to write something different and fresh!

Me: How about The Domineering Factory Director Falls In Love With Me?

Hao Wu Yi: Hahahaha that's a good one!

Me: The Contract Lover of the Cold and Cruel Construction Contractor?

Hao Wu Yi: Rebirth: Falling In Love With the Workshop Director.

Me: First Marriage Then Love: The Obstinate Wife of the Secretary.

Hao Wu Yi immediately produced a synopsis for the novel: 'He was handsome and wealthy, profligate and unrestrained – he was a man who controlled the entire village's production line in his hands! She caught his eye in the trade fair that displayed the various farming products from the nearby villages; from that moment onwards, the powerful man capable of summoning the wind and rain in Hua Lian Village only wished to protect and care for her. He gave her the limited edition Colman's tractor that thousands of farmers desired, and willingly splurged thousands of dollars in order to see her smile. He brought her to various farms to watch the farmers harvest, just so that she would be able to recall the past that she had with him. When she ran away, he chased after her – both of them were trapped. She was like his poison, a disease that has set into his bones.

"Huang Pu Tie Niu [1], even if you manage to rob me of my body, you will never be able to rob me of my heart!"

The man's eyes were as dark as the night. His thin lips were extremely close to hers, "Su Cui Hua, I don't mind engaging in a taboo game with you......"

She closed her eyes, a single tear falling from her eyes. On the clean white bed, a white lotus bloomed.'

After a few days had passed, Hao Wu Yi hollered for me in a loving manner once more. This time, she simply sent me a screenshot: 'Angered, the Second Prince had snatched the bow from the hands of the guard next to him within the blink of an eye. As the arrow found its way into the Fourth Prince's heart, the sound of thunder pierced the silence that had descended upon us. As I saw the Fourth Prince fall off his horse, I felt as though that arrow had pierced into my very own heart. My beautiful face was splatted with droplets of blood. As I gazed at the Fourth Prince who had collapsed in a pool of blood, my face turned ghostly white, and my whole body trembled in fear. I let out a piercing scream, "No!!!!!!!"'

Me: "Is there a problem?"

Hao Wu Yi: "Why do female leads always say no whenever they experience a mental breakdown?"

Me: "What do you suggest the female leads say then?"

Hao Wu Yi: "Usually, whenever I experience a mental breakdown, the words that immediately come out from my mouth are 'Aiyo' or 'F***!'"

Me: "That's why you're never the female lead!"

[1] Huang Pu Tie Niu directly translates to the Iron Cow from Huang Pu. This is meant to be a joke because the novelists tend to gift their male leads with extremely cool sounding names, whereas the male lead here was clearly named after his farmer background.