I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

Chapter 15 Stop and Smell The Roses

Me: "The manner in which I endure your antics is probably the same manner in which Dad endures Mum's antics."

Him: "......"

Me: "How do you think Mum would react if she knew what you just told me?"

Him: "She would kill me."

Me: "Fantastic! I have already recorded all that you said!!I would be able to blackmail you in the future!"

Him: "......"

004

Mr. F's genius nephew came to Beijing during the summer holiday, and stayed with us for a period of time. Little Nephew was terribly obedient – he would wake up at 8AM every morning, and begin his day by memorising English words for half an hour before proceeding to practise calligraphy for another half an hour.

I asked Mr. F, "Did you follow the same schedule when you were young?"

Mr. F nodded his head, "The children in my family all follow the same schedule."

Enraged, I howled at him, "If that's the case, why do you only manage to wake up in the early afternoon during weekends, and even require me to deliver breakfast to your bed?! What happened to the traditional values and good habits that your family cultivated in you?!"

Mr. F smiled sheepishly, "I can't help it. He who stays near vermilion gets stained red; he who stays near ink gets stained black."[1]

005

I absolutely adore Little Nephew. Whenever I'm out shopping, I would always purchase delicious food or interesting toys for him.

One day, he told me in all seriousness, "Please stop buying things for me."

I asked him why.

He replied, "Even though I really like the things that you buy for me, I always feel that I'm devouring the elderly[2]."

I spat out a mouthful of water. My dear child, that really isn't how the phrase 'devouring the elderly' is used......

006

After Little Nephew and I familiarized ourselves with each other, he finally confessed some of his inner thoughts to me.

"There's a girl in my class who has a habit of stealing things."

"Ah?! What did she steal?"

"She stole a lot of things! My student card, my homework, my keys......"

"Wait a minute...... Does she take stuff from everyone, or does she only take your stuff?"

"She only takes my stuff."

Tickled, I laughed aloud. "The little lady probably likes you!"

Little Nephew's face reddened, "She's...... she's always doing something odd."

"Is she pretty?"

"I don't think so, but there are many male students in my class who like her."

"Do you like her?"

Little Nephew fell into silence and refused to say a single word, his face reddening even further. After some time, the mature Little Nephew propped his cheek up with his tiny fists and let out a long sigh, "But...... I'm worried that she is unable to keep up with my pace."[3]

I spat out another mouthful of water and gave Mr. F the side eye, "The children in your family all think the same way?"

Mr. F hurriedly asserted his innocence, "I don't."