A Walk On Ice

15: Backing Out

Something happened inside my stomach right after she asked that. Something like tickling my insides- it's unexplainable or maybe I'm just too dumb. Nevertheless, I just shrugged it off. It's just probably my stomach doing weird things.

"Melissa?" Carroll's cold tone reminded me that she's still here. "Oh? Y-yeah.. S-sure.." She looked at me before walking towards the parking lot as I follow her my head faced towards the ground.

"We'll talk on our way.. Get in," she opened the front door for me as I docilely hopped in. She started the engine then drove away. "Are y-you okay, Ca-.. Carroll?" I asked, fidgeting with my lace. "I am good, you?" She said, her eyes never leaving the road.

"Good I guess.." I replied suddenly feeling so disappointed. Wouldn't she at least look at me while asking how I was? Why did it matter anyway.. She didn't talk after that. We stopped in front of Patricia's house.

I turn my head to face her. "Umm, what are we doing here?" Confusion laced in her eyes but her face remained the same. "I already moved out of that house.. For now I'm living in Skye's place.." I explained as she nodded.

The car was filled with silence again. It wasn't comfortable. There was a tension between us. I started to shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"What happened to you Melissa?" I flinched, startled by her sudden questioning. "Huh? What do you mean?" The car stopped and I looked at her. Her emerald orbs were already staring back at me. She suddenly started to lean closer to me.

"You changed Melissa.. What happened to the old cocky, annoying, competitive Madison? The girl who made my school life a lot difficult but so much fun. Where have you gone, my Madison?" Her eyes never left my eyes that were trying their best to avoid the alluring green orbs.

"I.. I don't know what... Y-you are talking about.." I mumbled, my voice barely a whisper. "You do know, Madison." She insisted.

"I..I.."

"What the hell happened to you!" Suddenly she snapped. "If you were still the Madison I knew, you wouldn't be avoiding my eyes, you wouldn't be stuttering, you wouldn't act so strange, you would have something smart to say.." She pondered, her chin caught between her fingers.

"If you were still the Madison that I knew, you wouldn't be nervous around me. Now tell me what happened to you!" She snapped. My hands quivered at the tone of her voice.

"I just... I.. I'm sorry.. I don't-" my lips quivered as I spoke. My heart beats so fast that I think I might pass out any time here. Why is she so mad about it? Isn't that what she wants? Me submitting to her, obeying her, become a good girl? But then she's complaining.. Why?!

"And that, you always say sorry now. Whatever, I hate you Madison." Now she returned to calling me by my surname again. Could I be more stupid? I just can't act myself around her! How much I wanted to shout that at her.

"I don't know Ca..."

"Oh great! Also that! You can't even say my name! Yeah, what-?!" I sighed before interrupting her. "Goddamn, let me finish Carroll for the love of god!" I yelled which took her by surprise but then a small smile tugged on her lips.

"I don't know why I'm like this around you either!" I looked up from the ground to look straight in her eyes. "I don't fucking know why I'm nervous around you! Nor the reason I couldn't retort something smart to you anymore! I am clueless too, just like you!" I paused, trying to look for any reactions or if she wanted to interrupt, but she was just listening intently to me. "You don't know how much I want to bring my old self back, where I was constantly teasing you, annoying you at my best.. But I couldn't just do it now.." My voice started to lower its volume. "After seeing you in the girl's restroom, on that very day.." I shook my head as tears threatened to escape my eyes. "I just want to get to know you Carroll then.. I want to get to know you in every way possible, and I couldn't possibly do it with just teasing or annoying the living daylights out of you.."
I look on my shaking hands after I spoke. "I want to know what your favorite color is, your favorite food, or why you get so moody whenever I smile at you.. Everything Carroll, everything.. I want to know everything about you.." I sighed.