Random Writing

Heart ache-

I know you're bad for me. I know you leaving was the best thing for me.

I still sometimes sit up at night and think about you; your smile, laugh, voice. Just you in general.

You were so bad for my mental health but i still sometimes wish you were here. I sometimes wish i could text you. 

I know i shouldn't wish for you to come back into my life. Ever since you left I've been different, not in a good way but not in a bad way. 

My life has changed, i don't really trust  anyone anymore. I didn't before you came along but now it's worse.

I don't even trust my family. My best friend. I trust nobody who tries to show they care because of you.

I broke being clean for 6 months because i thought those single red lines would hurt less than what you did to my heart and emotions. 

I'm still not mentally okay but I'm getting there.

You broke my heart. I thought something maybe something could happen and we'd last.

You picked up a piece of my heart when you walked into my life; little did i know you didn't plan on helping me put my heart back together but break it even more. 

Nobody understands why i had so much hope for something that was bound to crash and burn. but i did. Silly me.

And if I'm being completely honest i don't understand it either, you lived five hours away.

I guess you seemed so nice my heart decided to have a little hope that you'd turn out to be a good guy..