Unstable state of mind

Strings between people

When i look back on myself of the previous years back then, i had so much regrets.

The one that i kept blaming myself was, why is it so hard for you to live on your own?
Yes. I blamed myself for being so damn weak, scared of everything, fear for unrealistic.
Weak.
I really hate myself.

That when youre attached to someone, it's like you are belong to them and entitled to care for their feelings all the time.
Exhausting.

I finally learnt that our own company is the best when we are growing older.
But thats too late.
When i have a bunch of people around me to care for their feelings almost all the time.
To be able to understand them.
Read their emotions.
Keep them company.
Watch my words for them.

I truly feels thats really tiring.
To care for others more than i care for me, myself and my heart.
There's a saying that we gotta find someone that's worth it,

Ugh fuck that.