Denial

Telling Him

"I was going to wait until tomorrow to ask," Luca looks at me sheepishly, a side of him I've never seen before. "But who's the father?"

There is a sadness disguised as anger in Luca's eyes and I watch as his hazel eyes turn dark and then light again, adjusting to his mood swings. "Luca," I hesitate. Don't chicken out! Tell him for Antonia's sake.

"Don't be scared to tell me," Luca watches me intently.

"How can I not be?" I whisper loud enough for him and I to hear it. "You're terrifying and I can't handle upsetting you right now."

"I've thought about it Alissa," he pauses. "I want to beat the shit out of whoever knocked you up and left you by yourself."

Oh the irony! "Why would you care?" I push. "And who says he left me?"

"Because I'm not totally heartless love," Luca sighs impatiently. "I care because I refuse to allow myself to be like my father and just throw children away. Despite my brain telling me to ignore her, I can't and I don't know why!" He yells in a whispered tone.

"Do you really want to know?" I gulp. "Because it changes everything."

"Don't tell me it's Santiago's kid," fear replaces the other expressions on his face and I chuckle.

"I'm afraid not."

"Then whose is it?" Luca looks me in the eyes, lifting my chin to meet his steady gaze. "I want to help her."

"L-Luca," Here it comes. There is no going back. "Antonia is your daughter."

His body freezes and multiple emotions manifest on his face at once. Luca says nothing. Instead he just stands up and walks out, shutting the door behind him.

"Fuck," I whisper as the waterworks develop. I walk over to Antonia's crib carefully and lay her down. She settles in quickly and I peck her forehead gently before grabbing the baby monitor and shutting the door behind me.

I nearly run to my room and slam the door, letting myself cry harder. Not once have I cried about Luca being the father of my first born. I mean she's a beautiful girl, taking after him. He's loaded and is extremely protective of his women. I mean it's not the worst situation.

Sniffling, I place the baby monitor on the nightstand next to a new alarm clock that Luca gave me after my complaints. I strip out of my jumpsuit and don't bother to change into pajamas, crawling under the covers in only a bra and underwear.

My body relaxes into the sheets and I inhale the smell of the linen, trying to slow the tears forming in my eyes. A small knock on the door startles me. I'm so tired! I don't say anything, pretending to be asleep.

The door opens and shuts quietly and moments later I feel the bed dip down. "Fuck Alissa." He whispers to himself. "We always used protection," I peek open my eyes and see Luca leaning forward with his head in his hands. "I did this to you, to us."

I close my eyes again and try to steady my breathing so that he can't hear my sniffles.

"Alissa, I know you're awake, I have cameras you know." Luca chuckles momentarily before flopping down next to me and pulling me into his arms. "This changes everything."

I remain quiet for a moment. "That's what I was trying to tell you."

Ignoring me he continues with what he was going to say. "You have this effect on me and I can't stand it! The Italians are stressing me the fuck out and my uncle is giving me shit already. Wait till he finds out about Antonia."

"Luca," I mumble, confirming to him that I am indeed listening to every last word.

"I don't know how to be a dad," he breaths deeply and I pull him to me, resting his head on my chest.

"I don't know how to be a mom," I whisper.

"Don't say that shit," Luca grumbles and tries to pull away from me but I don't let him.

"I don't! I try my best and hope it'll be enough for her to prosper and do better things with her life." I sigh. "And you need to do the same. She's been without a dad for too long."

"Alissa," He pulls away and attempts to look me in the eyes but the darkness of my room is settling in. "Why would you leave knowing you were pregnant? I would have dropped everything to be there for you love."

"I didn't know," I whimper as the memories flood back to me. "The only time I could think about is the day before I left when we fucked."I pause for a response but don't receive one. "It felt different and I didn't know if it was in my head or not."

"Damnit," Luca stands up and walks away from me. "We'll talk about this in a couple of hours. Rest up Alissa."

The sound of the door clicking shut made me overwhelmed. My mind was flooded with different interpretations of what just happened. I don't understand how my big ass mouth told him despite my brain telling it not to.

So much is happening and I don't know how to react. Luca is bipolar for sure. No man can fuck a woman, walk in to a nursery, caress a one-year-old child, walk away angry and then suddenly come back all gloomy and shit. His brain is having a fucking fiesta! I'm having a fiesta! He tells me one minute how I'm a fucking whore who needs to obey his every wish, to the next where he is confessing his feelings for me and begging me to speak to him.

Trying to clear my head, I cuddle into the covers that Luca's body just covered, encasing myself in the warmth before it dissipates into the cold air.

- - -
SUuUuUp
This is a shorter chapter and i'm sorry :(
But i just wanted to toss another update out there since I'm going to be getting busier over the next week.

Hope you guys enjoy! Lots of love.
Feedback is appreciated.

Also ¡más importante!
I have a draft titled "To Each His Own"
I'm thinking it should be able some bXfXb so lemme know if y'all would be into that ish?

Until the next update...xoxo