Firelight

Chap Twelve

"whatever happens"

What are kisses supposed to feel?

I mean, it's literally just two folds of skin on the lower part of your face smacking with someone else's lower facial skin fold, and then they move and mash together like dough, and sometimes the tongue is used, and then people feel...pleasure?

But I didn't feel pleasure, even on my first kiss, it was with some boy named Luke, it was on seventh grade, I still had that hopeless crush on Noah, and I was fiercely determined to save my lips for when he could finally take notice of me and he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, sweep me off my feet and kiss me into the sunset. What? I was thirteen and hopelessly smitten with my best friend.

It had been a sunny day and I was eating ice cream on a bench, swinging my legs and just watching people pass by, typical day. But then I saw Noah and Alicia on their bikes heading off to what I assumed was a local gag shop, Noah loved collecting weird objects, from the tightest corners of their house to the leftovers other people left behind, he picked them up and put them in this solid metal bin that he called his own personal time capsule, and what he felt by collecting scraps and random objects, I would never understand.

But I wanted to hang out with them, so I hastily finished my ice cream and ran to get inside the store, and when I did, the first thing I noticed was the strong smell of plastic and fake products, I guessed because it was the fact that the store was known for its assortment of slimes and rubber pranks.

Then there was the owner's son, Luke, he was the same grade as me at the time, but he was on the lowest section, he was one of those kids who would rather do anything than be in school, but I guess his daily allowance kept his attendance in check.

The store was huge, it wasn't like, mall huge, but it was large for a scrawny, thirteen year old like me. I was about to get started on my search for the two of them, when Luke suddenly came up to the counter and leaned his arm on the countertop, maybe he thought it made him look cool or cute, but I can tell you myself that Luke Reed was nowhere near cute or attractive. That title belonged to guys like Noah.

He started to say something about how cute my hair looked and he kept winking at me, and I kept gagging on the inside, he was honestly such a sleaze.

I was going to turn away and start my search, when, for some reason, I tripped on a rubbery yet slimy banana toy, both coincidental and ironic, and I was about to land face first on the floor, but a pair of arms grabbed me and held me before I even smacked head first.

I was still in a state of shock, I didn't move for a few seconds, but then, I thought Noah had grabbed me, and was now holding me in his arms, and I swear it felt like a dream come true. I quickly turned around, grabbed both sides of his face and planted my lips on his, and I felt this strange sensation, like the thrill you get when you're performing in front of a lot of people, and my toes fluttered, and my skin felt tingly. I finally gave my first kiss to Noah, and after this, I was going to ask him to be my boy-

"A?"

I opened my eyes, that was definitely Noah's voice, but he was right behind me, it took me a few moments, but I immediately pushed myself away from Luke and rubbed my lips, ugh! I can't believe I just had this first time moment with Luke Reed! Of all people!

Luke had this surprised, yet hazy look, and he gave me this lopsided smile and the tips of his ears turned pink. I retched, and ran out of the store angry and embarrassed. I just gave up my first kiss to some delinquent boy, all because I had this stupid fantasy of being with Noah.

He and Alicia tried talking to me the night after and the following days after, but I kept myself locked in my house, only going to check the mail or throw the trash. I was too humiliated to even see other people. Luckily, no one at school had started any rumors, but I did get weird looks everywhere I went. I didn't care though, all I thought about was how I was kissed by someone who wasn't Noah.

But that was such a long time ago, now, that whole fantasy just came true.

And I felt all of those old sensations, the tingly nerves, the bright colors in my head, the excited thrill, all of it, and more. I felt like I was floating, and if that wasn't enough, I felt him kiss me back. My hands got a mind of their own and started to move their way towards his perfectly coiffed hair, and they gently smudged the thin, smooth fibers open until I was messing with his hair. Our lips moved slowly, gentle, as if the roughest movement would break the moment.

For what felt like hours, we stayed there on the farthest part of the garden, our arms tangled on our bodies, our lips moving in sync, my hands untangling the gel that held his hair, his hands planted lightly on my waist, and the moon shining above our heads. I could almost sigh in utter bliss, this is what I've wanted my entire life to happen.

Then why do I still feel a bit of dread in my gut?

We eventually pulled away from each other, our eyes most likely glazed, and my lips felt a bit sore and plump, I even saw faint stains of my lipstick on his mouth, and I almost laughed at how odd it looked, along with his unruly hair, if it not were the intensity in his eyes.

It was like he could grab me with a single stare, I didn't know he was even capable of having that kind of power over me. I took a deep breath and tried to untangle myself from him, but his hands suddenly grabbed my waist, his hold firm and his expression grew serious.

"I don't know what that was just now, but if you're trying to send me some kind of message. I'm not really sure I got what it was, what are you trying to say A?" he said after a moment of intense staring. I gulped, guess I've run out of evasive maneuvers here.

"Would you believe me if I told you? They say action speaks louder than words" I said, looking away. He only tugged me closer in reply, my heartbeat rose even more and I closed my eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Noah Campbell, way before you turned into a nerd, and maybe even until now that you've leveled up to dweeb status" I finally confessed, making sure to add a few teasing names so it wouldn't be too serious. But who are we kidding, since when did I suddenly turn into a jokester?

It was silent for a bit on his side, and when I looked at him, he had this confused expression on his face. I couldn't blame him, I'd evaded him pretty much my entire teenage life, letting him deal with bullying on his own, refusing to even spare him a glance, talking to him only when I'm forced to, and suddenly I'm just expressing my love for him so suddenly.

"Can I just kiss you again?"

I looked at him with wide eyes and he just shrugged in response. A small smirk crawled its way up my lips and cupped the back of his neck, "Why are you even asking?"

And so he kissed me. Again. If this isn't the most confusing part of a story, then I don't know what is. But I guess this is what not being numb is like, you're confused, hurt and lost. But at least you feel something. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story going a little too fast? 

Well, the reason for that is because Ava and Noah already have a vaguely unmentioned past that I won't write anymore because it's all just a build up in their friendship and the coming realization that Ava actually has feelings for her best friend, which would feel more like a filler rather than a part of the main plot. I'd prefer to write the build up in their romance, which I envisioned as short, sweet and straightforward because there already seems to be ongoing tension between the two of them. 

I like stories that have a touch of that directness to them, the more honest your characters are, the lesser the conflicts they face, and I really love that. 

But nevertheless, like and comment. Only three chapters left. ;)