Good Boy Gone Bad [ First Edition ]

Chapter 4 | Insecurities are harmful

[ c h a p t e r  f o u r ]
4 — insecurities are harmful

[ z a r a ]
— point of view

Has a person ever felt so insecure in their life? The type of insecure where they had wished they vanished into thin air, the stares of the onlookers suddenly pressuring them to want them not to exist.

That's how I felt, every moment of my life. The amount of disapproving glances I would get from my family members made me feel judged, it's a feeling that seemed to drive me insane.

The stares in a classroom were enough to make me lose a sense of control. I feel like people are judging me for how I look and how I talk — I seem to take everything into consideration. Having a flaw seemed terrible to me.

"Are you alright?" Lisa says beside me, she elbows me lightly. "You seem to be dozing off." Lisa comments, her eyes meeting mine.

I nod my head, even though I felt as if I didn't belong in this school: I have to go with the act. The people in this school are cruel narrow-minded killers, not physically but emotionally they'll destroy you to the point you start feeling you're insane.

"Well now that you're finally awake, let me explain to you an amazing idea I have for my eighteenth birthday!" Lisa says cheerfully, her eyes glued to the mobile device in front of her.

"Is it going to be another cliched high school party?" I question, not in the mood for a party — especially a tragic high school party filled with underaged drunken kids and drug users.

Lisa shakes her head before pushing forward her phone. I scan the image in front of me, it was an idea of a masquerade party. Lisa wanted a masquerade party? That seemed a little modest for someone like Lisa who seemed to have a fetish for an event like Coachella.

"You know what this is right?" Lisa questions uncertain with my blank expression, of course, I knew what it was. "It's a party where people use masks to cover their identity and have the time of their lives—" Before Lisa could complete her sentence I cut her off.

"I am pretty sure I know what a masquerade party is Lisa, I'm just surprised that you're having one." I point out, still surprised at her overwhelming idea.

Lisa scoffs, clearly irritated by my words. "Is it the fact you don't find me as one to host one? I'm pretty sure I'm capable of having a masquerade party," she states bitterly, not even looking at me.

"Relax," I mumble, she seemed to take everything offensive. "Is expressing my surprise a crime? Not everything is an insult, Lisa." I fold my arms, as Lisa purses her lips nervously at my statement.