everytime · kagehina

eighteen

shouyou

it's been a week since kageyama passed away because of heart failure.

and i think i will never get over with this pain sting in my chest.

i wish i could've done something.

but i didn't knew.

right now, i'm at my room, holding the letter that kageyama made for me. his friend, tsukishima kei gave it to me. i haven't opened it yet because i'm so scared. but it felt right now is the right time.

dear, hinata shouyou

hi, i think you might open this way longer after i'm gone. i already know my lifespan is getting shorter. yet i haven't said it to you when we met because it was hard for me to trust people and i thought that it didn't mattered yet i still given hints for you. the paper, i wrote it when you left and went back to the library because i thought you might be there the day after (i hate myself for that and wow my plan worked!) but i want to say that, thank you for everything, even we just met two weeks ago and i'm sorry for not telling you sooner, i'm just literally stupid.

i confessed my love for you. i hope you still love me too. because i think my love for you will never fade. i think it was destiny. destiny gave me another chance to love. yet it has a consequence. life is unfair, after all. the day we met, when we went to that coffee shop, it was really tempting to drink coffee, since i was a coffeeholic but i know it's not good for my heart, it'll palpitate and i was very anxious. the day you saw me, i was crying. because i realized i was gonna die soon. but there is something i need to tell you.

everytime i see your eyes, i felt at home but i'm afraid i won't see those eyes again.

i love you, shouyou.

love, kageyama tobio

p.s. remember me.

i cried. my heart felt heavy.

"baka! i will always love you baka! i will always remember you, baka!" i cried as i grpped the letter as if my life depended on it.

i wish i could've seen those eyes again, but what you said is true. i'm afraid i won't.

the end