IshRa FF Beginning Again

Part 17

Raman took a deep breath and thought back to the beginning. "I originally planned on telling you before our wedding and  then shortly after we got married.

The problem wasn't the issue of the marriage or even the fact it ended ,but how it ended. So much happened in those first few weeks. You were still mourning Subbu . I could see how emotionally fragile you were and I didn't know you well enough then to know how you would take what I had done. Trying to explain it to a stranger, and let's face it that's what we were to each other then, was going to be very difficult."

Ishita thought back to how she was at that time. "Everything was very raw and painful and Shagun makes friends with me, and I did not know who she was and made me an idiot and you stand there and watch"

"I never expected that Shagun would ever show up again in Delhi. By the time I felt you were strong enough we were falling in love and honestly I just let the issue drift out of my head. All I could see was you and the possibility of our future together." Raman got up and walked around the room a little to gather his thoughts.

"And then Subbu came back." Ishita responded. "And the world spun out of control again."

"Yes. By the time everything settled and we were living what might be called a normal life, I looked up and realized our first anniversary was coming up. I got worried that if I told you then, after waiting a whole year that I might lose you. So I made the decision to keep my mouth shut. I figured Shagun was the past. What were the chances I was ever going to see her again? It wasn't like you didn't know that there had been women in my life before you."

"So why rock the boat, right?" Ishita said. "Ok, but then once I'm faced with her in our living room why weren't you honest with me?"

"I panicked even more." Raman said sitting back down on the couch next to Ishita . "Can you honestly say that if I had told you about Shagun right after she showed up on our doorstep that you wouldn't have still been just as angry?"

Ishita thought about it for a minute.
"I really don't know. I've thought about that a lot lately and I think that is where my share of the blame lies in this."

Then Ishita started to cry "I should have been willing to listen to you and hear what you had to say. I just was so frightened and to some extent I still am. "

"I started to think that you didn't love me anymore and since you hadn't been able to trust me with this, maybe you never really did. We didn't start out like a normal couple. So in my mind it seemed that it was that much easier for you to fall out of love with me or to not love me as much as I thought you did."

Raman reached over and wiped the tears from Ishita 's cheek.
"Oh, my darling wife, I love you more than life itself. And there is nothing and nobody who can ever change that. As far as I am concerned you are the one and only wife I have ever had."

Ishita looked at Raman in amazement. And for the first time since this nightmare began all of the pain inside slipped away. Moving closer to him she wrapped her arms his neck and whispered
"You know what you said this morning about how good we were together ? Show me."

To be continued ...