What Am I Doing With My Life

So, When?

There is a quote saying that "Some people are like nicotine. You know they are bad for you but you want them anyway."

Nicotine triggers the dopamine, which responsible for producing feelings of pleasure. Nicotine also elevates our moods and heart rates. Nicotine is addictive because it disrupts the relationship between the neurotransmitter and the receptors. Nicotine shaped similarly with the acetylcholine, making it can fit in the same receptors. The more nicotine you take, the more the acetylcholine replaced by it. This imbalance situation in the brain causes it to think that there is too much acetylcholine which caused to the less release of acetylcholine. It makes the brain needs nicotine to function normally. The smoker would feel something abnormal when he/she is not using nicotine. In order to feel normal, he/she has to supply more nicotine into his/her body. This is the reason why nicotine is so addictive.

Regarding the quote above, we can say that there are some people in our lives which replaced something on our hearts. Making us so addictive, possessive, and maybe aggressive to someone. Because when he/she is not there, we will feel the abnormality on our hearts. The "only" cure is his/her present.

Is there any cure other than his/her present? Yes, there is. But it takes time. Just like the chain-smoker who wants to quit because he/she knows that smoking is bad. He/she can't just stop. He/she needs time to be reestablished.

Our brains need time to finally realized they don't need more nicotine and start producing more acetylcholine. Just like our heart which need time to finally realized that they don't need that person and start looking for another person.

We want nicotine because our brains need it. We need someone (which probably unattainable) because our hearts want it.

How long until we finally reestablished? We do not know because it takes time.

But when are we going to realize that it is bad? How long are we going to keep that stuff destroying us from the inside? Now, this midnight, tomorrow, six other days, five more weeks, or nine months later? We have to decide this because this is the thing that matters. The realization does matter. The courage to finally let those bad things go does matter.

So one more question, when?