Calm Waters Dont Last

Dark waves

"He's gotten worse.. S-so worse in fact th-that they believe h-he's going to die soon.. They said there.. Going to try s-some other th-things to help him but they don't th-think he'll make it.."

The whole table went silent, and the tension in the air intensified as everyone went through different emotions, Connor and Evan pulled each other into a tight hug sadly thinking over this as Evan started crying. Alana leaned back in her seat and took off her glasses and hid her face with her hands and she started crying, Zoe tried to comfort her as she started crying a bit too.
Zoe wasn't as close as the others but Jared was still her friend and kinda like annoying brother who she didn't want to lose. It hurt that he might not be around anymore with his corny jokes and stupid memes. She always felt bad that her brother and closest friend would lose their boyfriend, and that her girlfriend would lose her best friend. She felt bad and horrible, like disconnected from the grieving, she felt sad and bad. It hurt that the short boy wasn't going to be around much, she really hoped he'd stay around.

Alana leaned into Zoe as she cried, she knew Jared since she was 14 and it was like losing her brother. He was the one who accidentally got her into anime and manga, and then teased her for it even if he secretly liked it but not as much. He was the one who helped her out with her sexuality when she was super confused on how attractive girls were to her. She let him stay at her place whenever his parents fought or his dad got abusive. She helped him learn piano when he showed his interests in classical music. She started crying harder as she thought of things they couldn't do anymore if she lost her brother. No more just late night calls, no talking about which celebs are gay or straight, no more chick flicks with ice cream and spice girls, no more Jazz concerts and podcasts, no more just hanging out at each others dorms and drawing or just being friends. He wouldn't be there anymore, it really hurt when he started forgetting all the things they did but him just... Dying is horrible.. Alana felt sadness just horrible sadness wash over her, she wasn't angry at anything, she was just so sad, she hugged Zoe, holding onto her.

Connor felt overwhelmed, he hugged Evan tightly as they silently cried for their dying lover. He just wanted everything be okay and just for the short boy the ran into their lives to be okay. He felt overwhelming sadness and anger and frustration, he hated that he couldn't help him, he hated how terrible he felt, he hated how much pain Jared was in, he hated the hospital for not trying hard enough, he hated Jared getting sick, he hated being so helpless in the situation. He wished he could be of use, like he could just make everything better. It was hard, he knew he couldn't do anything but he wanted to help in some way in every fiber of his being. He hated how cruel life was, sure Jared was an ass at times but he didn't deserve this, no one deserves this. Connor wanted everything to go back to being okay, before he got sick just one more say at the beach or in their dorms.

Evan was upset, he was anxious as sadness washed over him and pain. It really hurts when the sudden reality that someone you love so much can just be ripped away from you. No matter how much Connor and Evan held on its like Jared was slipping through their finger tips. Evan just wanted to pretend it was all okay and that Jared was never sick and everything was okay and everyone was okay. And everyone would be happy and everyone would want that, something so nice and happy, all five of them just hanging out and saying jokes and eating ice cream going to the Beach and hang out. Even wanted to pretend he was dying, he really really wanted to. He didn't want to face reality, he hated reality, it reminded him of how much life just sucks. At first he didn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it, he wanted to believe Jared would get better. He thought it was fake that he wasn't getting worse and some horrible prank was happening or he'd wake up for a sick nightmare. But deep down he knew it was true and it was so hard for him to cope with. He can't deal with losing him or Connor.

The table of young adults was sadden with their different griefs, the next day the all visited him and they all knew it was coming, Jared wasn't Jared anymore.. Connor and Evan could barely look at him without crying. He was paler than the last time, thinner than Connor and looked frail and fragile, he had bruises from holding onto the rails to hard after throwing up. He had dark rings under his eyes that sunk into his skull, his hair was no longer tameable and his heart rate was lower than it should he, he would throw up stomach acid now not keeping his food down and if he wasn't throwing up blood it was coming out of his nose in painful nosebleeds. When Jared acted like himself, he just seemed so numb and he had no hope for himself. On his pale body it was easy to see his veins or his lips tainted with his own blood. His hope was gone, his eyes were dull and he was practically dying inside and out.. He was a mess and so was Evan and Connor seeing him like that left bitter tastes in their mouths and a heavy feeling in their hearts.

They did their normal routine, French songs and ukulele strums and warm blankets except a lot of tears and understanding. They didn't know if it was the last time they'd sing to their boyfriend, or if it was his last time hearing them sing to him. It was beautiful and painfully sad, so much raw emotion was poured into every note and strum as they made sure it was the best goodbye if he did leave them abruptly. Connor and Evan played Formidable for him, Connor's voice kept cracking as he tried not to cry and Evan messed up slightly on some notes because his tears blinded his vision a bit. Once it was over the silently cried and kissed Jared on the forehead telling him that they loved him and reluctantly left, as they made it to Evan's dorm they sighed in defeat as they looked at the small messy dorm

The boys crawled into bed around 2:30 am after binge watching all of their nature documentaries as cuddled up together. It felt so wrong without Jared but they needed to stay strong and they needed each other. As they finally got some hope and happiness and were about to sleep.

Then it happened.

Then,
Connor's phone rang.