30 Days with Fina

Day 13

I've spent my college life walking into a bar or a club, getting some drinks, hitting on a hot girl, and then leaving the place with them to go somewhere else quiet. That's routine.

If they're smoking hot or undeniably good in bed I'd stay with them for some time, but never any longer than a month. Because that's just how I see those girls in Manila, just people who I can lay off my earthly desires.

My girls are usually petite and sexy because I never liked girls bigger than me. Makes me feel less masculine.
I like them with big boobs. Simply because I love boobs.
Or their ass. Damn, if they have a sexy butt, then I want it mine.
I don't necessarily want a girl with experience. I've handled a few who are experimenting with the same sex and I gotta say, although I did most of the work, I like them too.

Fina is none of that.
Okay, well, yeah, she's small and petite, but not hot but rather cute.
She doesn't have big boobs or is she flat chested either. She's just...you know, the usual.
Her ass isn't what I'm looking for and lastly, she's freaking straight!

I never, as in never, work with straight girls. I usually end up in a mess because their boyfriends tend to punch me and their best friends love to slap me.

So, no. I don't like straight girls who are perfectly sure that they won't meddle with the queer like me.

Wait, how am I even sure that Fina is straight?

"Well, duh. She ran away after you kissed her." I mumbled to myself as I arrived at the seaside playground.

I looked around and saw that children are playing, their guardians sitting on a bench, watching them play and some stray dogs are walking around. There's no sign of Fina.

Am I really looking for this girl? It's just a simple kiss. It usually means nothing to me. Why am I bothered?!

Frustrated, I pulled on my hair and mumbled an impressive number of curses in one breath. Feeling a tad bit better, I decided to walk the length of the seawall and sat on the very end, facing the water.

There's something different with the sea today and I'm not sure what. The calm sea breeze too felt somewhat different. It's like somebody suddenly slapped a tinted pair of glasses on me and I didn't notice it until now that it's making everything I see and feel oddly different.

"What is wrong today?" I mutter to the wind.

Wait, is it really the sea, the wind, the sky, and everything else around me that changed, or is it me? Am I changing?

Crap. No, I'm not. What kind of stupid question is that?

I'm still the same person with the same hair, piercings, clothes, and skin color. I'm greatly comfortable with what I am now that changing into something else is out of the question.

I'm rich, I'm cool and hot(whatever you choose), and I can have the girls I want. My life is perfect.

"Is it really perfect?" I ask the sea.

Because, yeah, sure I'm taking up a double degree in Economics but up until now I still have no idea what to do with my life after school. 

I may have girlfriends in Manila but never have I fallen in love. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Sometimes I want to know what it is that makes people look so stupid doing things for the one they love. Sometimes I want to know how it feels to have butterflies in one's stomach whenever they see this person they have strong feelings for, although the idea of having flying insects in my guts is somewhat weird.

What is all the fuss about love? Why is it such a big deal?

If you feel that they're the most beautiful creatures in the world even if they have serious facial problems then I think you need to visit an ophthalmologist. I don't really believe that love is beyond just looks because, believe me, the attraction is everything. How can you attract someone if you look like the Hulk?