The Ghost [Marvel | Steve Rogers]

Chapter 19

Save through Steve. She was there for Steve. Though she felt odd for her presence when it came to Ms. Carter, when it came to Steve? She was where she felt she needed to be.

She might have herself—mostly—convinced that there was no reasonable hope for a future or anything more than friendship between them—or so she was still working on, limited as her success was proving—but that didn't mean she didn't still care for him. There was no way in hell she wouldn't be there if he needed her to be. Even if he hadn't been there for her, she cared about him too much to let him go through something as painful as this alone. She knew all too well how much harder everything was alone.

Steve had been one of the ones to help her realize that.

It was a nice enough service, though admittedly Nadine wasn't paying as much attention as she probably should be. Not subtly watching Steve out of the corner of her eye as she was. He barely looked up, listening even as he stared sightlessly at the hymnal in front of him where it was tucked into its niche.

And she warred with herself if it would be overstepping to reach out and take his hand. It would just be to provide comfort, so there shouldn't be any harm, right?

But it was a liberty she shouldn't take another part of her warned. It warned that, while she considered him a friend and he her, that did not mean it was appropriate to just grab at him, even if the aim was to provide comfort.

She was so focused on Steve and her own internal battle that she nearly started when Sam nudged her just hard enough that her shoulder bumped Steve's. Nearly.

Frowning, she glanced to Steve as he looked to her, his own brow creasing slightly before they both looked to Sam.

And Sam nodded subtly up to the pulpit, where Ms Carter's niece—great-niece? She looked too young to be just a niece—Sharon Carter was starting off the eulogies.

Nadine's frown deepened, not understanding why Sam felt the need to direct Steve's attention to the young woman collecting herself to start speaking. At least until Steve stiffened in surprise next to her.

Glancing back to the Captain, she understood. She could see it written clearly on his face. He knew her. And he hadn't expected to see her.

And as Nadine noticed the way Steve was looking up at Sharon, she was suddenly painfully aware of an unsettled, constricting pressure deep in her chest. A feeling that felt uncomfortably like disappointment and dismay.

It took another moment and her jaw involuntarily tensing as Sharon Carter met Steve's eye and smiled subtly at him that Nadine recognized what it was.

Jealousy.

And she was immediately scolding herself for the reaction, firmly fighting it back.

Of all the ridiculous, inappropriate—ill-timed—juvenile reactions to have...she had no claim over him, so what right did she have to be jealous? What business was it of hers that Sharon Carter was obviously interested, or that there were traces of a mutual interest in the man sitting next to her.

Worse was the thread of longing tied into the uncomfortable dejected feeling trying to grow in her, tugging at it and her both.

Steve was not hers, she reminded herself harshly, and he was perfectly free to show interest in another woman. He deserved to have someone.

It took far more effort than she would've liked to keep her hands from fisting and her breathing steady. And that wasn't even counting the effort it took to ignore the irrational impulse to storm up there and make sure the other blonde understood in no uncertain terms that Steve was off-limits, the idea proving far more distracting than she was comfortable with.