The Ghost [Marvel | Steve Rogers]

Chapter 40

Somewhere over the Pacific

Spring 2015

Oh, this was so bad...

There was no way for Natasha to downplay that simple fact in her mind.

Of all the times for this to come out?

She wanted to rip Ultron's central processor or whatever he had that was equivalent to a heart out herself for the pain he'd caused.

She'd known, or at least, Natasha had suspected what had happened between Nadine and Barnes all those years ago. It had been hard not to, even young as she'd been at the time. It wasn't like sex had been a mystery in the Red Room. It was a fact of life, a natural function—a predictable motivator—they had been taught to exploit. So it hadn't been too difficult to figure out what had likely been happening with Nadya, especially knowing her sister as well as she had. The marks she'd seen left on her older sister's skin? The marks on his? The changes in her behaviour? Neither had it been hard to discern that whatever had happened hadn't sat well with Nadya even then. And it appeared it hadn't gotten any better with time.

If anything, it had gotten worse.

And Natasha suspected that had everything to do with Nina.

But she'd really given it very little thought in the time since their days in the Red Room simply because she'd believed Nadya dead, the Winter Soldier permanently trapped by his programming and some secrets better left lost.

She hadn't even thought to tell Steve about Barnes' time in the Red Room when she'd first told him about the Winter Soldier's existence. She hadn't seen the point, and they'd still been learning to trust each other, then. But then everything changed.

And she'd learned the Winter Soldier was actually Bucky Barnes.

She'd told Steve that Barnes had been brought in for a short time during her training not long after S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, during Steve's recovery after what had happened on the Helicarriers. But that had been it. She hadn't told him about Nadya; even remembering her lost sister had still been too painful. She never would've been able to get the words out. Besides, at the time she'd truly believed telling him about her sister would've done little good. So she certainly hadn't shared what she had suspected had transpired between Nadya and Barnes. She'd seen little point in hurting Steve with more than the barest knowledge of what Barnes had done and experienced in the Red Room. It was in the past and done and that was that. Steve had already been in enough pain, shouldering more guilt than he deserved over what had happened to Barnes.

She knew he blamed himself for what had happened to his friend. There had been no missing it. The guilt and remorse had been written clearly in his eyes.

So she'd decided not to tell him about Nadya's relationship with his oldest friend...if it could even be called that...

What good would it have done save to torment the Captain?

She couldn't bear to do that to her friend.

But as soon as Nadine had reappeared in her life? She'd had a sinking feeling in her gut that the truth would eventually out and she regretted not having said something before. But with Nadine back? It also meant it was no longer just her secret to tell.

Especially when Nadine had dropped the little bombshell that she had a daughter...and that Nina's existence was her reason for running from the Red Room.

That revelation had led to one inevitable conclusion that Natasha was rather wishing she'd didn't know just now...one that had the potential to break Nadine and further devastate Steve.