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the past days have showed me that even though i lost mark probably forever i still made some amazing new friends during the time that i've been here. i've gotten super close to jeno, donghyuck, jaemin and jisung and i'm not gonna let this situation destroy those new build friendships. that is why i decided to avoid mark and hina and stick to the other boys and luna. they all manage to almost make me forget about my emotions for a while and help me to enjoy the shootings again. but there's still this little crack in my heart whenever i see mark and hina being all lovey-dovey and today was one of these moments:
i was laughing with donghyuck on stage during our break when i heard hina's voice:"baby, wanna go out to eat today?" "hm, how about to get take out and watch a movie at mine?" "oh, that sounds amazing" and then they started kissing "they're not gonna stop anymore, are they", jaemin mumbled suddenly showing up next to me making me chuckle dryly. "look, i want to show you my new dance move!", he yelled making me look at him almost dying on the floor. i laughed because how can this boy be so stupid but look so good doing so?! "good, you're smiling again. i can stop embarrassing myself now, right?", he chuckled and got up from the ground. "thanks, jaemin. you're really the best" "i know. that's probably why you made me your best friend and why all the girls in my class are in love with me", he lifted his head in the air and swung his arm around my shoulder. this boy. "but on a more serious note. are the girls still living with you?", he said and turned to look at me again. "yeah, but they're moving out tomorrow", i said not even sure if i should be happy about it or not. i mean, yeah, i'll be away from hina again but it was still lots of fun with koeun, hyerin and lami around. "that's good because you and hina can get some distance between each other again" "yeah, that's true. come on, the shooting's starting again!" "oh, right! we'll go up against each other for the next game, right? ah, it's gonna be so much fun to beat your ass!", he lifted his head again and i hit him playfully on his chest.
"you know, i'm kinda sad to let you girls leave us!", kian said and hugged koeun. "yeah, you guys are so much cleaner than haneul and luna! can't we switch you guys?", soomy laughed at mine and luna's offended faces. "yeah, we also had a lot of fun with you girls around but i'm sure you're grateful to have your own beds back hahah", hyerin said and everyone laughed agreeing to her statement.
"wow, they're really gone. i mean, i know they haven't been around for that long but it really felt like they've lived here forever. i kinda miss them already", eolin said after closing the door. "yeah, i miss everyone but hina", luna mumbled but still made sure all of her unnies heard. "let's not talk bad about people who aren't able to defend themselves due to absence", i answered but was having a party inside of me. "haneul, you know that we won't judge you for anything. we love you and the way you're currently acting isn't yourself", kian sat next to me on the couch. "yes, we understand that the things that happened hurt you and you're careful with your words now but how can you not show any anger towards her? we're not only your band mates, we are your friends. you can let out your feelings in front of us", soomy continued making me smile. "you're right. i haven't been myself lately. but i guess the whole thing is getting the worst out of me. i never know what to say or do anymore. i'm afraid to say something without thinking it through completely. but i want to change that again. you guys aren't my friends, you're family. and honestly, wow, i'm so happy that i don't have to see hina's face everyday anymore!" "that's my girl!", eolin screamed making all of us laugh.
