Rejuvenate | Spruceworth 5.2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Holden

       I stared at the blank word document on my computer screen, feeling like quitting already and I had only been sitting here for about ten minutes. Those ten minutes sure felt like a lifetime.

       Dad glanced over from his spot in the kitchen once I huffed for what seemed like that hundredth time. "You do know you can take a break whenever you want, right?" he asked.

       "Yeah, I know," I said. "But if I take a break now, I'm not going to want to get back to this stupid paper. It's due in two days and I don't even have a title. I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to go back to school. Sure, it's an online class but still."

       "Hey, I'm proud of you for taking university classes," Dad said. "You were so eager to finish high school and now, you're working towards a degree. You don't even have to take four years to do it. You can take however long you want."

       "That still doesn't stop me from wanting to just finish this term and not go back," I said. 

       "Well, whatever you decide, I'll support you," Dad said. "I don't want you to go back to school if it's going to put too much stress on you. Just make sure you put your mental health first."

       "Don't worry, I will," I said.

       I could always ask Jane for help since she was a very smart person and already knew how to help me study even though I couldn't remember much. I just hoped she would be okay with it and not feel stressed from helping me on top of doing her own school work.

       I went back to staring at the screen but it didn't last long before there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," I told Dad. "Maybe me not staring at my computer screen for a few minutes will help."

       "I told you to take a break," Dad pointed out.

       I just shrugged before walking over to the front door, only to regret being the one to answer it once I saw who was standing there. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

       Shaw handed a small pile of papers towards me. "The divorce papers arrived," he said. 

       "Did you sign them?" I asked, feeling the hole in my heart starting to grow. Things were actually being official between us soon and I honestly didn't know how to handle it.

       "No, not yet," Shaw said.

       "Then why are you giving them to me to sign when you haven't done it yet?" I asked.

       "Because I have a lot going on and I'm only going to end up forgetting about it," Shaw said. "I figured it would just be better if I give them to you first."

        I hesitated before taking the papers out of his hands. "Is that it?" I asked and when Shaw nodded, I closed the door, not wanting to look at him right now.

       I sighed and stared at the papers. Part of me didn't want to sign it. A huge part of me but I knew my relationship with Shaw had already come to an end a while ago. It was going to be best to move on.

        I went back to the table I was sitting at and reach for a pen. Right as the pen was about to touch the paper, something inside of me snapped and I ended up throwing the pen across the room and dropping the papers on the table.

       Dad walked over and sat down at the table. "I've kept my mouth shut through this whole thing but I think it's time I finally say something," he said.

       "Like what?" I asked. "'I told you so'? 'You shouldn't have gotten married so young'?"

       "No," Dad said. "I was going to say that this isn't the end for you and Shaw."

       "We're getting a divorce, Dad," I said. "I'm pretty sure it is the end."

       "If it was, you would have signed those papers," Dad said. "Shaw would have signed them too. He had more than enough time to sign them before coming over here to drop them off."

       "Then why did he drop them off in the first place?" I asked.

       "To see if you really want to go through with it," Dad said. "He has second thoughts. You both do and it's so clear. You're soulmates and I really think you two should just try talking things out."

       "No," I said. "No way, not happening. Shaw can't even look at Gibson, and there's no way I'm abandoning my son. I just have to accept that Shaw and I are really over."

       "You're never going to accept it because you know it's not true," Dad said. "You and Shaw had been through so much together this past year and you fought so hard to prove to everyone that you belong together. Believe it or not, I don't want you to give up so easily on Shaw."

       "I haven't," I said. "I never will give up on him but... From where I stand, it doesn't look like he's going to give Gibson a chance anytime soon. That's the only thing that's tearing us apart right now."

       "Well, if you won't talk to Shaw just... Hold off on signing the divorce papers," Dad said. "Think about what you really want first. And maybe if you do hold off on signing it, everything will come into place."

       I seriously doubted it. Of course, I really was going to hold off on signing it because I couldn't have an inch of a doubt when I signed it. I still had a lot of doubt inside of me. I knew I still had feelings for Shaw and I didn't want this to be the end of us, but I was going to have to wait to see what he wanted.

       Because I didn't know what I really wanted right now.

_____________

heartbreak is so fun to write ahahahah

and who is the girl updating hours earlier than normal???? im being so productive like whoa????

and here's a gif because gifs:

^^that's a gif of Shaw and Holden breaking up. you're welcome.