One Way to Write

Handling Feedback

"Omg, this paragraph is so long. What is he even talking about?" vs "This paragraph seems to be filler. You could cut it down to a couple of sentences and say the same thing."

The thing is, if you are a writer who really wants to improve, you will read and consider ALL types of critical feedback, positive and negative.

With negative feedback, Lena tends to go through a rollercoaster of emotions:

"How rude!" → "What is the hidden constructive criticism behind their complaint?" → "Omg, I suck." → "I don't suck, but I need to figure out what my motivations were in writing this way and if it's something that could benefit from changing or if it's fine as is."

If you can do the same without the self-deprecating thoughts, it will look like this:

1. Find the constructive part of criticism.

2. Figure out what your motivations were for writing it that way.

3. Determine if the motivations match what was written, whether changes need to be made, and how.

  

Let's go through these steps using the first example critical feedback about our romance being too fast. Above, we already found the constructive message. Now onto the next steps:  

Let's say we wrote this fast-paced romance intentionally to show how there's a thin line between love and hate and how rushing into romance can be a bad idea in the end (but the reader doesn't know that because we haven't written the part where it blows up in our characters' faces yet). We agree it's fast-paced. Maybe we can add something earlier to make it more clear that we're showing the thin line between love and hate... Perhaps insert more romantic tension while they fought last chapter and little signs they may like each other more than they let on? But we won't change the fast-paced aspect because that's part of the plot's major theme. 

Now, let's say we didn't do any of that. We just thought a couple who went from hate to love was cute! That was our motivation. But it seems like we sacrificed realism. How many other times have we gotten this feedback? If a lot, it's pretty clear we need to make some changes. If this is the first and only time, then we'll think about it a little longer. We can Google tips for writing romance (spoiler: good pacing is going to be a huge point of advice) or even get specific and Google "writing romance moving too fast" to get more tailored advice. We find evidence to support the criticism and ways to fix it.

But Lena, what about the negative critical feedback like, "This sucks!"

Like I said before, if you are a writer obsessed with improving and learning, you will even indulge the jerks. You don't need to be that type of writer who indulges even blatantly rude people who have no hidden constructive quality to their criticism. But Lena is and would reply, "Can you be more specific about what you dislike?"

9 times out of 10, this is the type of reader who just doesn't give a damn, is jealous, or just a troll. If it's one of these readers, there's a 100% chance they will not reply to your request for details and you will have already forgotten all about them. But for that 1 out of 10 chance that it is a person who just doesn't know how to express their feelings, I ask.

Sometimes the reply is something like, "Sorry, I was having a bad day and was rude. I was just kind of disappointed that this happened because I had expected something else." In this case, you can have a discussion with the reader and both of you may benefit from it. They may come to understand your characters better or maybe you'll come to understand your characters better by disagreeing with the reader. Perhaps you'll just learn how people can read the same thing and perceive different things and have a newfound appreciation for how your own books can connect with people. 

 Sometimes the reply is something like, "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean the story! I meant to comment inline here to express my sympathy for the character/reply to the comment above me. The story is great!" It's just a misunderstanding! We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

 

What Lena never does:

- Deletes critical comments, even if they're mean.

- Curses at or insults readers, even if they're mean.

What a writer has every right to do:

- Delete rude, mean comments.

- Honestly tell a reader that they're being rude and mean.

- Mute serial abusive commenters.

So you got the critical feedback and went through the three steps. But how do you reply?

Well, you don't have to reply, but replying lets readers know you hear them and you care about improving and their experience with your stories. Sometimes replying is easy: "You raise a good point. Thanks!" Sometimes, it's a bit more difficult, especially if you had to dig for the constructive part of the criticism: "I am aware it's fast-paced, and it's intentional with a point, as you'll see later. But thanks for the feedback. I might make some changes to earlier parts of the story." 

But Lena, why should I be nice to someone who was rude?

You can be however you like, but remember I said that some people don't intend to be rude. I'll say it again: The people who are just readers and not critics feel a certain way about what you've written but may not have the literary knowledge (or sensitivity or maybe they don't feel like they're qualified) to helpfully point out why. 

Kill 'Em with Kindness is my motto. But if they're stereotyping or ignoring a group of people or the individuality of my character, I will set kindness aside and be frank---but I still try to avoid being rude.

Here are some types of critical feedback I've gotten that weren't so easy to respond to:

#1: "I understand Alex is more effeminate but most guys don't cry this much because of normative/toxic masculinity. So you should make him cry less or at least try to hold back tears."

#2: "This kid has cried like every chapter and I'm only on chapter 3. OMG."

#3: "This is like a shounen-ai more than a realistic LGBTQ story."

Here's how I (basically) replied after going through the 3 steps:

#1: "Alex is a unique character in that he isn't like most guys. He's emotional and shows it. And now that I look back, he actually stated in the last chapter that he hates how easily he cries, while simultaneously trying to fight his tears (though he failed)."

#2: "I looked back over the chapters and considering the fact that he's an emotional person and a bunch of heart-breaking shit has happened to him in the past 3 chapters, yeah, he's gonna spill a tear or ten."

#3: "I can see where this feedback is coming from since I do include some BL tropes. Honestly, my goal was not to write a 'realistic LGBTQ story' and I specifically did not want to write a coming-out story. My goal was just to write about the realistic development of a relationship between two people who happened to both be dudes. But acknowledging that BL was my inspiration, I'll keep the feedback in mind for future edits. To make it less tropey, I can add in more clear coding that Eran is aro-spec and remove some language that might seem biphobic." (I actually was not able to respond to this person directly, so I made my reply a reflective blog post.)

***

Takeaway: All feedback is important to consider whether you end up utilizing it or tossing it into your mental trash bin.

Hope that helps. Best wishes writing!

Leave any topics you want me to cover in the comments.