Dolan Enterprise ~ e.d.

XXXIII

Ethan

It's halfway through the day and she's still not here. It's been two days that she hasn't shown up to work without calling in.

I stand looking out the window as I sulk. I know I shouldn't have invited those guys over. I still don't know why I did. I guess I just thought we'd have fun without getting sucked up into the things that we used to do.

I overestimated my ability to stay sober. I figured since I had Kendal to worry about I wouldn't fall into pressure but I did. I failed Kendal and I've suffered from not seeing her.

Her face isn't here to lighten up this dark office. She was the only light I had and I blew it.

I thought this one would be different. I've never loved anyone the way I loved her. Well I still love her.

I sent her a rose yesterday after she didn't show up. I should've sent her more because apparently it didn't work.

I knew the note was too short. I should've wrote more. I've always been confident in my words. I've always been great at writing and all I'm trying to do is see her. I just need to see her at least one more time.

Soon there's a bold knock on my door and I know it's my brother. My head snaps towards him as he lets himself in.

"Still no Kendal?" He ask with a sigh. "No." I say looking down at my shoes as I swallow harshly.

"Why'd you do it?" He ask referring to my recent actions. "I-i don't know." I say truthfully. I really don't have an answer for him. I have yet to find one for me.

"Whatever bro. I'll be in my office once you feel like you actually wanna work rather than sulking around over your dumb ass mistake." He spits. I take it because I know I deserve it. I ruined everything I had.

The rest of the day goes by the same as the beginning. Slow as hell. My mind was constantly flooded with thoughts of Kendal.

My hand runs through my messy hair as I close my office behind me. I have my briefcase in my other hand as I pass Florence.

"Do yourself a favor and get some sleep tonight." She says with concern written all over her face. She probably got a look at the dark circles under my eyes.

"No promises." I mutter as I continue to the elevator.

I'm beyond tired as I listen to the slow, shitty music but once I get home by myself I won't be able to get myself to sleep. All I'll think about is the fact that she should be laying next to me and she's not.

I walk through the parking garage with my head down and my keys in my hand. I know what I'm doing as soon as I get home and it almost motivates me to actually do something with myself.

I can't even bring myself to turn the radio on. I'm too scared that the music will remind me of her. I'm trying so hard to get myself together but I'm not together without her.

As I get home I'm quick to pull into the garage. I'm sure my hired help is beyond confused.

I practically slam the door shut behind me as I make my way up to my office. I'm ready to just lock myself away from the rest of the world.

That's exactly what I do as I plop down in the chair at my desk. I grab a small sheet of crisp white paper and an ink pen.

Kendal

Racheal got the later shift today so she was at the apartment with me in the morning but now she's gone when it really counts. She won't be here to help me take my mind off things right before bed.