My Big Fat Celebrity Crush

My Big Fat Celebrity Crush [4]

3rd PERSON POINT OF VIEW

"All right boys, let's get down to business."

Liam, Zayn, Harry, Niall, and Louis all sat squashed onto a couch. Their boss towered over them, grinning manically. 

It was One Direction's weekly meetings with their management. Everyone knows how 'evil' they are. But how evil can three men get?

Oh wait, Nicolas is one of them.

"We've got a new client." Nicolas told them.

Their faces dropped all emotion. They were in shock. Were they about to be dropped?

'This won't please the fans,' Liam thought.

'If I knew this was going to happen so soon...I'd fart in their faces,' Niall thought.

'Only dead beats are dropped out early, I refuse to be one,' Zayn thought.

'Management, I can't fuck Eleanor, and now you're doing this to me?' Louis thought.

'I can only think of all the pussies I'll lose...,' Harry thought.

"And no we're not dropping you," Nicolas looked at them all sternly, especially Louis who had a sour look and Zayn who was starting to tear up.

"Oh," The boys let out in a chorus.

"We wanted you to get familiar with her," Nicolas said, slowly dimming the lights.

The other manager guys - no one bothers to acknowledge - turn on an expensive projector. It gets quiet in the office as the pictures start to load.

The first is a girl with dark red hair, oval blue eyes, and a huge smile on her face.

"Wow." Everyone says, even the pedo's in the back corner.

"This is August Jenkins, she's nineteen," Nicolas announced like a tour guide. "Her favorite things to do is make covers on her guitar, sing, dance wildly, and take webcam photos - as you see here."

"She's purty, Spongebob," Liam said, nudging Niall.

Niall blushed awkwardly.

"No," Harry said, watching the picture settle on one of August in the background, sticking her tongue  at the camera, only wearing a bikini. "That's hot."

"Jeez Haz, just go ahead and stomp on my heart!" Louis shouts.

"I'm sorry, bebz," Harry fake-wept, trying to give Louis a hug over Liam.

"Oh for god sakes, watch the clip!" Nicolas demanded.

There was no need to tell Niall that. He was watching the slide show with a small grin, Liam could only think of Danielle, and Zayn...well he zones out.

A home video of when August was fourteen in her friend 'Breanne's' backyard, playing the guitar for her popped up.

"Pleeeeease sing my favorite song," Breanne whined.

August rolled her eyes, her guitar already on her lap. "What's it called again?"

"Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl!"

August gave the camera a look. "You better not post this on myspace, or anywhere else people will see me look like a straight up lesbo."

(Ironically, this ended up on Myspace, then spread across a couple of websites. August didn't talk to Breanne for days.)

She started strumming and Breanne giggled into the camera.

*Sings instrumental of 'I Kissed A Girl'*

"She's pretty good," Zayn whispered to Louis.

"Pretty?" Louis scoffed. "More like oh-mazing!"

"Wait, pretty as in her looks or her talent?" Nicolas inquired, sticking his nose up their business once again. "Because if you're interested, we could have a great love story in minutes!"

Zayn crinkled his eyebrows. "Um..."

"How about you Louis, do you 'fancy' August?" Nicolas asked.

"No!" Louis crossed his arms over his striped shirt clad chest. "I'd pick Eleanor any day."

"You would...," Harry shook his head in disbelief.

"Really?" Louis asked. "Here? Now?"

"Yes." Harry dead-panned. 

"Can we get back to the pictures?" Niall pleaded.

"How about we talk about the reason we're really here," Liam said.

"You're replacing us with August Jenkins, yeah?" Zayn accused.

As you can see - management and One Direction don't get along a lot. Management are evil fuck heads. And to the fans - they're evil fuck heads. But One Direction has to get through this if they want to at least be allowed to do twitcams.

I'm sure Liam would like that.

"The point to this meeting is-"

"Shut up, Ken, know one cares to read about you," Nicolas interrupted 'the other guy' snappily.

Ken slumps into his seat and frowns at the opposite wall.

"My point to this meeting is to get you familiar with this girl." Nicolas laced his fingers together. "The media won't name 1D is in cahoots with August. She's going to be world famous, and when she does - you'll become more famous just by 'bumping into her'."

Louis, Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Harry blinked.

Nicolas sighs. "You get to meet her in a week, meeting adjourned."

Immediately, the guys jump off the couch and leave the room. They don't even say goodbye to their bosses! They only love Uncle Simon.

Simon: And don't you forget it! ;)

"That was the shortest meeting ever," Niall exclaimed outside.

"Am I the only one glad?" Louis wondered.

With a shudder, Zayn answered, "No. I hate our bosses."

"This could be a sign..." Harry said.

"Of what?" Liam, Zayn, Louis, and Niall asked in unison. 

The boys climb into their range rover, Paul being the driver, and finished off the conversation in the car. Zayn sat in the front, falling asleep. Harry and Louis took the next two rows of seat. And Liam and Niall sat in the back.

"A sign that management is planning something big," Louis continued.

"Nicolas...already explained that..." Liam replied.

"Oh." Louis clamped his mouth shut.

Awkward silence.

"But she was really fit!" Niall piped up.

"I agree," Harry shouted.

Niall raised his hand for a victory high five, but Harry turned away.

Liam said, "She is fit, but how do we know she won't be replacing us?"

"We don't," Louis dead-panned.

"That either means...he's annoyed," Harry pointed to Boobear. "Or he's trying to say not to worry about it."

"He's right," Niall nodded. "Let's not worry about it. Why would they kick off us? C'mon, look at us!"

The guys laughed.

"Yeah, you're right."